You’ll figure it out, J.
I’ve heard this perspective plenty of times throughout the past 8 years of my life. While I was not always welcoming of this advice, I knew that these words were genuine and that they held a universal truth. You’ll figure it out was a reminder that no matter what I was going through at any given point in my life – trials, errors, hardships, pains, shames, blames, ups, downs, or confusions – that I will eventually figure it out.
The last time I heard these words from my friend was on August 2nd, 2011. I didn’t know that would truly be the last time I heard them from his mouth and with his genuine delivery because two months later my friend passed away in an accident. While I wish I still had him a phone call or a hang out away to ask for his advice through my ups and downs, I already know what he would tell me: You’ll figure it out, J.
No matter what happens – good or bad, right or wrong, healthy or sick, happy or sad, loved or unloved, accepted or un-accepted, understood or misunderstood, strong or weak, bulls-eye or complete miss – I’ll always figure it out. It may not happen in the most ideal time frame or in the most ideal experience or on the most ideal terms… but I’ll figure it out. I always have and I always will.
I have used this advice over the years to get me through the hardest of hard and the easiest of ease. Currently, this is where I’m at…
- Love and accept myself and others
- Forgive myself and others
- Be happy with myself and others
- Give myself and others the benefit – never the doubt
- Have faith in myself and others
- Have an open and honest heart with myself and others
- Listen to my mind, heart, and body – they always know best
- Have perspective when my Ego is calling the shots
- Find a balance of Wants vs Needs
- Do not judge, assume, or shame my battles or other’s battles
- Do not place unrealistic expectations on myself or others
- Do not provide myself with unnecessary boundaries or limitations
- Surround myself with caring people who unconditionally support and understand me, and to not waste my efforts on those don’t
- Take everything and everyone that I experience into perspective
- Learn from everything – even if I don’t learn right away
- Appreciate every single experience that I go through – good or bad
- Be kind and easy on myself and others
- I am always doing my best – that’s all I can ask of myself and others
- Communication is the foundation of a good relationship with self and with others
- Take responsibility for my actions and reactions
- Never run away because it’ll only create more problems in the end
- Fear is an illusion – I create all of my fears and fears create all of my dis-eases
- Trust that what I give will be received in return
- Try not to take myself so seriously
- Have fun!
- At the end of the day… I’ll figure it out
I share this story because I have faith that we all will figure it out. Some may figure it out quicker than others. Some may figure it out and have it fall through their hands only to figure it out again. Some may figure it out longer than others. Some may think they figured it out only to realize they have a lot more figuring out to do. Some may figure it out in different ways than others. Some may not think they need to figure it out only to experience quite the figure-it-out-wake-up-call. In the end, we all figure it out.