Fighting or arguing are outcomes of disagreements, misunderstanding, misinterpretations, assumptions, and judgments. Fighting doesn’t have to occur – ever. There’s no reason to fight, but it happens because… well… people think they’re right and they want to prove that out of a desire, habit, conditioning, or, perhaps, a lack of self. It’s obvious that no one is ever right because that’s just an opinion. Yes, I do believe that there are universals morals, values, trusts, and truths, but, at the same time, not everyone abides by them, is aware of them, nor defines them equally.
So, why do people have to prove anything? Why can’t we just give and take without a bias? That is, give an opinion and take another’s as merely a different opinion, perspective, understanding, or interpretation. It comes down to a personal desire to win. Think about it – winning is totally awesome and we’re taught from day one to not be losers. So, naturally, when it comes to a disagreement we tend to strive for an outcome that favors our opinions. But, do we really win? Does proving another wrong actually make us right?
Why not go for a win/win? Why not go into an argument with a win/win attitude – that no one is right or wrong, that all opinions will be said, heard, AND understood, and that if there still remains a disagreement in the end then a fair compromise or an agree-to-disagree solution should take place. The most important part in this is listening and understanding another person’s opinion or perspective. All-too-often we don’t listen to someone else talk or state their case because we’re too busy disagreeing, judging, assuming, and preparing a rebuttal in our own minds when they have the floor. To be heard and truly understood is one of the greatest feelings and approaches in a disagreement.
Try win/win. Try listening without bias. Try giving and taking equally. Try throwing out any rights or wrongs and understanding the situation for its universal truth. Try to talk peacefully without it resulting in anger, bitterness, or resentment.
If you’d like to discuss this perspective along with other health-related insights, please contact me for a FREE Conversation.