Category Archives: Emotional Health

Does your diet and lifestyle work for you?

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Obviously there are plenty of diets out there claiming that they’re the one. There are endless research studies promoting that this food has vitamins, this food builds muscle, this food is an anti-oxidant, this food promotes inflammation, this food causes heart disease, this food is a superfood, or this food burns fat. We can go from one diet to the next or from one food to the next because of what is read in a biased health magazine or what’s advised from Doctor full-Oz-crap or what’s heard through treadmill gossip, but how do we really know what works? Going further, does the diet compliment the lifestyle and vice-versa? Is the lifestyle trying to make up for a lackluster diet? Is the real problem diet or is it a lifestyle that prevents a diet from working?

  1. Listen
  2. Write & Record
  3. Reflect
  4. Gain Perspective

Listening to our body is our best resource. The best method to listen is by writing down what we hear, see, feel, and observe. Writing down our thoughts make them more real...

Create a Lifestyle Journal
Ideally a 7-day journal but it can last up to a month if more perspective is needed

Food

  • Time of day
  • Hunger Level (1-5)
  • All ingredients and portions
  • How was it prepared – cooked, cold, room temp, microwave
  • Energy Levels (1-5) and Mood/Personality – 30 minutes before, during, and 30 minutes after

Liquids

  • Time of day
  • Thirst level (1-5)
  • All ingredients and portions
  • How was it prepared – heated, cold, room temp, microwave
  • Energy Levels (1-5) and Mood/Personality – 5 minutes before, during, and 30 minutes after

Exercise

  • Time of day
  • Type, duration, total of exercises, total of reps, amount of rest
  • Energy Levels (1-5) and Mood/Personality – 30 minutes before, during, 30 minutes after, and 2 hours after

Supplements or Medications

  • Time of day
  • Type
  • Purpose?
  • Energy Levels (1-5) and Mood/Personality – 30 minutes before and 30 minutes after

Sleep

  • Time of day – sleep and wake
  • Quality of sleep – slept through the night, toss and turn, fall asleep easily, wake up feeling rested/tired?
  • Dreams – good, bad, able to remember dreams
  • Energy Levels (1-5) and Mood/Personality – before and after

Bowel Movements

  • Time of day
  • How many times a day
  • Healthy or unhealthy?

Stress

  • Stress Level (1-5)
  • What is stressful, why, and how do you react?

Daily Activities

  • Time of day and duration
  • Type – Work, School, Driving, Cooking, Cleaning, Talking, Relaxing
  • Energy Levels (1-5) and Mood/Personality – General observation
  • How do you feel about the activity – Emotions when thinking about the activity, when involved in the activity, or when the activity is over

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The best advice ever given to me

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You’ll figure it out, J.

I’ve heard this perspective plenty of times throughout the past 8 years of my life. While I was not always welcoming of this advice, I knew that these words were genuine and that they held a universal truth. You’ll figure it out was a reminder that no matter what I was going through at any given point in my life – trials, errors, hardships, pains, shames, blames, ups, downs, or confusions – that I will eventually figure it out.

The last time I heard these words from my friend was on August 2nd, 2011. I didn’t know that would truly be the last time I heard them from his mouth and with his genuine delivery because two months later my friend passed away in an accident. While I wish I still had him a phone call or a hang out away to ask for his advice through my ups and downs, I already know what he would tell me: You’ll figure it out, J.

No matter what happens – good or bad, right or wrong, healthy or sick, happy or sad, loved or unloved, accepted or un-accepted, understood or misunderstood, strong or weak, bulls-eye or complete miss – I’ll always figure it out. It may not happen in the most ideal time frame or in the most ideal experience or on the most ideal terms… but I’ll figure it out. I always have and I always will.

I have used this advice over the years to get me through the hardest of hard and the easiest of ease. Currently, this is where I’m at…

  • Love and accept myself and others
  • Forgive myself and others
  • Be happy with myself and others
  • Give myself and others the benefit – never the doubt
  • Have faith in myself and others
  • Have an open and honest heart with myself and others
  • Listen to my mind, heart, and body – they always know best
  • Have perspective when my Ego is calling the shots
  • Find a balance of Wants vs Needs
  • Do not judge, assume, or shame my battles or other’s battles
  • Do not place unrealistic expectations on myself or others
  • Do not provide myself with unnecessary boundaries or limitations
  • Surround myself with caring people who unconditionally support and understand me, and to not waste my efforts on those don’t
  • Take everything and everyone that I experience into perspective
  • Learn from everything – even if I don’t learn right away
  • Appreciate every single experience that I go through – good or bad
  • Be kind and easy on myself and others
  • I am always doing my best – that’s all I can ask of myself and others
  • Communication is the foundation of a good relationship with self and with others
  • Take responsibility for my actions and reactions
  • Never run away because it’ll only create more problems in the end
  • Fear is an illusion – I create all of my fears and fears create all of my dis-eases
  • Trust that what I give will be received in return
  • Try not to take myself so seriously
  • Have fun!
  • At the end of the day… I’ll figure it out

I share this story because I have faith that we all will figure it out. Some may figure it out quicker than others. Some may figure it out and have it fall through their hands only to figure it out again. Some may figure it out longer than others. Some may think they figured it out only to realize they have a lot more figuring out to do. Some may figure it out in different ways than others. Some may not think they need to figure it out only to experience quite the figure-it-out-wake-up-call. In the end, we all figure it out.

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Sunday wrap-up

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Missed any posts this week?

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How to balance life’s priorities

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Life can get crazy. It happens when we have to balance work, school, family, relationships, social events, exercise, diet, hydration, sleep, me time, and the list goes on. The best approach to prioritizing is to make your priorities… a priority.

  • Below you will find a wheel with 15 spokes and 5 circles
  • Each end of a spoke represents your priorities in life
  • Each wheel represents the attention that you provide each priority on a daily basis (some may be weekly or monthly)
  • Write a priority above each spoke
  • Rate the priority by the attention it receives with a dot at the intersection point of a specific spoke and affiliated circle
  • Inner Circle = Least attention, Outer Circle = Most attention
  • Draw a line to connect each dot – does it make a [somewhat] rounded circle?
  • A wheel cannot turn fluidly unless all of its spokes are well-taken care of, straight, and balanced
  • This will help put your current life into perspective
  • This will help you become aware of what needs more attention than others

The above diagram is a generalized example. Notice how all of the spokes are not balanced and the wheel cannot turn fluidly? Now you try…

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Don’t ever say that you can’t

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via

Can’t is temporary.

I’ve fallen victim to “can’t.” I’m sure we all have at some point. It’s hard to see the big picture when we limit ourselves to what was or what isn’t.

We must focus on what we can do as necessary steps towards what we truly desire. The man in the above video could not walk unassisted, he could not touch his feet, he could not fit into smaller clothes, he could not be happy with himself, he self-sabotaged with food and believed his limits were factual. His perspective shift didn’t happen over night, but he found a way to inspire and love himself through the inspiration and love of others. He focused on what he could do (or was capable of) in the present moment. He took small steps to better himself and to be happy with himself. He didn’t give himself a time limit. He didn’t place unrealistic expectations. I’m sure he experienced set backs and frustrations, but he focused on the big picture and not what he was temporarily experiencing.

Do not doubt yourself or others. Always give the benefit.

Believe and have faith in yourself. Believe and have faith in others.

We can truly do anything.

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How did I get here?

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Have you ever traced back all of your good and bad experiences from your earliest memories? 
Your accomplishments? 
Your setbacks? 
Your happiness? 
Your pain?

We are all taught to work hard for our future and to not live in the past. While I agree with that mindset, I feel as though it can be interpreted as too exact and leave much room to lead an unfulfilling life…

How can we know where we are going when we may not even know, understand, nor appreciate how we got here?

Have you ever set aside time and patience to truly understand how you have gotten to the place where you are today? “The place” as in your personality, your reactions, your actions, your beliefs, your self-view, your wants, your needs, your habits, your addictions, your likes, your dislikes, your emotional state, your mental state, your physical state, your digestive state, your stress, your maturity, your friends, your family, your relationships, your location, your job, your school, and so on.

While reflecting and appreciating are necessary steps, the real magic happens when we revisit our past and take full responsibility for our experiences.

It’s obviously much easier to take responsibility for our good accomplishments, for our positive achievements, for our good deeds, for our beneficial reactions… but what about for our poor accomplishments, for our negative achievements, for our bad deeds, for our selfish reactions?

When something good happens because of our conscious efforts we are the first to step up and claim our prize – promoting that we did “it” happen rather than “it” happening to us. Why can’t we do the same when we experience, accomplish, or encourage a negative outcome? Why, when we experience a negative, do we find ourselves asking “why did this happen to me?”

In every single situation we must take responsibility for what happened, how it happened, how we reacted or encouraged that happening, and how we shared in a part of that happening. While much of what occurs is at the power of a greater reality, we also have the power to influence our own reality.

Everything that we pride ourselves on and everything that we are running away from can be better understood by taking ownership of our lives.

Only when we take responsibility for our experiences can we truly learn about who we are and how we came to be.

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Define: Addiction

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  • Addiction is a form of control, but what leads to that control?
  • Addiction is a symptom to an underlying cause, so we must define our true pain that we are suppressing or escaping.
  • On the outside, addiction involves reflective escapes – food, drugs, alcohol, sex, anger, depression, exercise, etc.
  • Deep down, addiction involves an escape from self – self-shame, self-sabotage, a lack of self-responsibility, a lack of self-awareness, and, ultimately, a lack of self-love.
  • We can overcome addiction when we become aware of what we are escaping and take responsibility for our actions.
  • We can overcome addiction when we see the value in what releasing that addiction can bring.
  • We can overcome addiction when we stop running away from ourselves, others, and our self-made problems, boundaries, expectations, boarders, shames, pains, or walls.
  • Addiction is an external attempt to find internal love.

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The Secret to Life: How to Lose Weight, Gain Muscle, and Get Healthy Now!

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The Secret to Life! How to Lose Weight, Gain Muscle, and Get Healthy now!

Here it is! The answer everyone is looking for: How to Get Healthy and Stay Healthy in three easy steps!

Sound too good to be true? It’s not!

No hype.
No bull.
No marketing campaign.
No diet or detox miracle.
You don’t have to take any pills.
You don’t have to take any drugs.
You don’t have to starve yourself for weeks.
You don’t have to go from one diet craze to the next.
You don’t have to drink protein shake after protein shake.
You don’t have to weigh your food or weigh yourself every day.
You don’t have to run miles upon miles and do sit up after sit up.

Want to know how the heck you can get healthy starting right now?

L. F. B.

  • Love yourself.
  • Forgive yourself.
  • Be happy with yourself.

L. F. B.

Why do we become sick in the first place?
Why do we become sad?
Why do we eat too much?
Why do we not eat enough?
Why do we go from diet to diet?
Why do we go from exercise to exercise?
Why do we burn the wick at both ends?
Why do we believe that a fit body means a healthy body?
Why, now more than ever, is the United States becoming so unhealthy despite all of the diets, studies, and supplements available that apparently promote health?
Why, no matter what we do, can we not seem to get healthy?

  • Health comes when we take responsibility for our lives, our choices, and how we experience life.
  • Health comes when we are aware of why we may be unhealthy.
  • Health comes when we understand what it means to be healthy by questioning everything and listening to hour body.
  • Health comes when we have respect for ourselves, our body, and the food that we choose to become part of our body – our life.
  • Health comes when we balance our life’s wants and needs.
  • Health comes when we let down our ego and open up our heart.
  • Health comes when we provide a healthy external environment to reflect our internal environment.
  • Health comes when we do not place unrealistic expectations upon ourselves, others, or our experiences.
  • Health comes when we forgive our past so we can be present in the now and work towards hour future.
  • Health comes when we stop self-sabotaging.
  • Health comes when we are not ashamed of who we are on the outside because we accept ourselves on the inside.
  • Health comes when we accept who we are, and how we came to be.
  • Health comes when we do not compare ourselves to others.
  • Health comes when we understand that we are doing our very best in every moment and that no moment is ever wrong nor a mistake.
  • Health comes when you Love yourself.
  • Health comes when you Forgive yourself.
  • Health comes when you Be happy with yourself.

L. F. B.

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Wants vs Needs: Happiness

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What do you Want to be happy?

What do you Need to be happy?

Our Wants can only come from outside ourselves.

Our Needs can only come from within ourselves.

No one ever Needs a big house, an expensive car, chic clothing, etc. Sure, they’re nice to have, but are they truly fulfilling? Do you Need them to actually be happy or are they a result of a Want?

According to the 2009 HPI (Happy Planet Index), the United States was ranked 114 of 143 polled countries in terms of Subjective Life Satisfaction, Life Expectancy, and Ecological Footprint. Many countries that are smaller, less wealthy, and had less financial opportunities than the US had much higher rates of happiness! So where does that happiness stem from?

Happiness begins and ends with “i” – the i’s ability to fulfill i’s Needs.

Be happy with self. Be happy within self. Love self.

A happiness [and love] with and of others will develop naturally when self happiness exists. 

Consider this perspective for self and for others. We are all doing our best.

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Question: Healing the past and regrets?

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Do you have any advice for moving past something you regret? This situation is so stupid, but despite knowing for years that I can do nothing to change it, I still fret over it.

Perspective:

No situation is ever “stupid” (“wrong” or a “mistake”). That is your judgment and opinion of yourself – be kind! It’s easy to get caught up in self-shame because it makes the “pain” seem less bearable (“I’ll put myself down so no one else will”), but you are only creating more pain in the end. It’s Ok – this is a part of the learning, growing, and healing process.

Whatever the situation or moment in the past, at that time you did the very best that you could and it was exactly what you “wanted.” Obviously, you have grown emotionally and mentally since that occurrence and now you have the perspective, “if I could do it over again, I’d do it better.” What’s wrong with that? I think it is better to realize that you could have done things differently rather than being completely unaware of how you came to be. Appreciate self for reflecting on the past and understanding that you have grown. It’s not easy to revisit regrets, but it is a step towards self-awareness and self-discovery.

If the situation involved others, consider that they, too, did the very best that they could and may have a different way of acting/reacting to an experience. Your experience of yourself is unique, your experience of someone else is unique, their experience of themselves is unique, and their experience of you is unique. It’s easy to get caught up in right and wrong when everyone has a different definition of those two ego-driven words. Also, just as you had certain reasons for your actions/reactions, so did that other person…

  • Appreciate them for being a part of your experience.
  • Appreciate them for providing an opportunity for self-growth and self-awareness.
  • Appreciate them for sharing a moment in your life.

Take responsibility for your past self and your past experiences. You can only “blame” yourself. Yes, another person may have had an influence on your situation, but you are the only one who determines how you react/act to an experience. By taking responsibility for your past you can allow an acceptance, a forgiveness, and an understanding of who you are today.

Take time to understand and forgive the situation – then and now. The longer the situation goes unaddressed (is run away from), the longer it will be a factor (influence present day). That’s not to say dwell on it, but it is important to take time, emotion, and effort to reflect on the past so you can move on in the present.

Write down your experience of the situation. Our thoughts and emotions are real, but it may help to make them physically real by putting a pen to paper…

  • What happened?
  • When did it happen?
  • How did I feel before it happened?
  • How did I feel when it happened?
  • How did I feel after it happened?
  • Why do I think it happened?
  • Why did I react or act the way that I did?
  • Was this situation a symptom/result of a larger personal issue/cause?
  • What is the root cause/issue of my reaction or action?
  • What were my assumptions and judgements of the situation then?
  • What are my assumptions and judgments of the situation now?
  • What is the true situation? Not just my truth.
  • What can I learn from my past experience?
  • How much does my past experience affect my present day? (thinking about it and/or running away from it)
  • Why does it affect me?
  • What will it take for me to be happy now?
  • Can I forgive others in the situation?
  • Can I forgive myself?
  • Can I appreciate and be thankful for my experience?

There is a progression in healing old wounds. Be open to that progression. Be open to your feelings, your thoughts, and your emotions. Take time and make an effort to understand why they exist. Take responsibility for yourself and only yourself. Forgive yourself and forgive others. Appreciate your experiences then and now because you wouldn’t be who you are today without them.

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