Category Archives: family

Don’t ever say that you can’t

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Can’t is temporary.

I’ve fallen victim to “can’t.” I’m sure we all have at some point. It’s hard to see the big picture when we limit ourselves to what was or what isn’t.

We must focus on what we can do as necessary steps towards what we truly desire. The man in the above video could not walk unassisted, he could not touch his feet, he could not fit into smaller clothes, he could not be happy with himself, he self-sabotaged with food and believed his limits were factual. His perspective shift didn’t happen over night, but he found a way to inspire and love himself through the inspiration and love of others. He focused on what he could do (or was capable of) in the present moment. He took small steps to better himself and to be happy with himself. He didn’t give himself a time limit. He didn’t place unrealistic expectations. I’m sure he experienced set backs and frustrations, but he focused on the big picture and not what he was temporarily experiencing.

Do not doubt yourself or others. Always give the benefit.

Believe and have faith in yourself. Believe and have faith in others.

We can truly do anything.

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What is Ego?

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  • The Ego is the opposite of your real Self.
  • The Ego is not you.
  • The Ego is the deception created by the society so that you can go on playing with the toy and never ask about the real thing.
  • Unless you drop the Ego, you’ll never come to know your true Self.
  • When you were born you had your authentic Self then [society] started creating a false Self.
    • You are Christian. You are Catholic. You are white. You are black. You are German. You are Irish. You are the chosen race of God. You are supposed to rule over the world. 
  • [Society] creates a false idea of who you are – they give you a name and around the name they create ambitions, conditionings, and rules to bind by.
  • It takes 1/3 of your life working on your Ego – school.
  • By the time you come back from University you have forgotten your innocent being – you are now a very big Ego – “now, you are ready to go into the world” as if the world doesn’t being when we are born.
    • This Ego has all the desires and ambitions. It wants to always be on the top of everything. It never allows you even a glimpse of your real, authentic Self.
  • The Ego only produces misery, suffering, fighting, frustration, madness, martyrdom, crime, loneliness, running, pushing, confusion, misunderstanding, selfishness.
  • A seeker of truth has to begin from this very point – whatever you have been told by society must be discarded.
  • Nobody can know who you are except for yourself – not your parents, teachers, priests, friends, or loved ones.
  • Except for yourself, nobody can enter in the privacy of your Being.
  • Nobody knows about you – whatever is said is all wrong – put it aside.
  • Dismantle the Ego – in destroying the Ego you will discover your Being.
  • The discovery of your Being is the greatest discovery possible – it starts a totally new pilgrammage towards ultimate bliss, towards eternal life.
  • You can choose frustration, suffering, misery – go on holding the Ego, nursing it.
  • Choose silence and bliss, and recover your innocence.

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Question: Communication?

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I received this question tonight (Thursday, the 26th) and since it seems like a time-is-of-the-essence situation, I decided to push back my other queued posts and give this Friday’s spotlight…

What would you do if you had a very irresponsible, self-centered roommate? One that does not take his/her part in chores and cleaning. It is almost the end of the semester and we have not spoken for quite a long time now, mostly because of this behavior. Is it too late to say something? I know I should’ve said something earlier, but you know, life happens and now we’re getting ready to leave.

Perspective:

Irresponsibility or self-ceneteredness are merely symptoms of a bigger cause… and those are only your experiences of your roommate – not the definition of your roommate. It is unfair of you to label your roommate just based on your experience of him/her without knowing his/her true self or personal battles. Yes, it is also unfair to you if they are being selfish and do not contribute to the understood equal partnership of living together, but consider that he/she may have a very good personal reason as to why they only seem to care about themselves, why they are introverted, or why they have placed barriers between themselves and the world around them.

What’s the true issue here?

Communication… or a lack thereof.

Communication is an important part of any relationship.

Communication can provide a continuous exchange of ideas, thoughts, feelings, emotions, wants, and needs – that exchange is positive. You will not always agree with one another, but the experience of talking will encourage you to understand one another and move forward to better the relationship.

Silence can encourage barriers, [unrealistic] expectations, assumptions, judgements, and can bring a negative energy to a relationship (or even a room).

You are experiencing a misunderstanding and the best way to understand one another is to talk. I don’t necessarily mean to talk about it, but to just… talk.

The chores are a symptom of a bigger cause of not talking to one another or misunderstanding one another.

  • Lead by example.
  • Create small talk.
  • Show him/her your trust, your openness, your friendliness, your forgiveness, and your acceptance by merely taking an interest in their life, sharing experiences of your own life, and encouraging them to be a part of yours.
  • Be friendly, not over-bearing.
  • Be patient, not pushy.
  • Be open, not expecting.
  • Trust that what you give you will receive in return.
  • Walls will never exist in a relationship if no one has a reason to build them.

After some time, if your roommate does not want to communicate nor involve themselves in genuine, open conversation then I would suggest that you move on with your efforts. It may be hard, but it’ll be for the best. Everyone is traveling along on their own path and on their own time doing the best that they can, and sometimes we just have to leave people to be and do things their way. We can only hope that those who are lost amongst their inner battles will come around to find themselves one day.

All that you can ask of yourself is that you do your best and that you are genuine.

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jdperryhealth@gmail.com