Can an Ancient Chinese text still hold water?

Tao Te Ching – Chapters 8-10

The supreme good is like water,
which nourishes all things without trying to.
It is content with the low places that people disdain.
Thus it is like the Tao.

In dwelling, live close to the ground.
In thinking, keep to the simple.
In conflict, be fair and generous.
In governing, don’t try to control.
In work, do what you enjoy.
In family life, be completely present.

When you are content to be simply yourself
and don’t compare or compete,
everybody will respect you.

Fill your bowl to the brim
and it will spill.
Keep sharpening your knife
and it will blunt.
Chase after money and security
and your heart will never unclench.
Care about people’s approval
and you will be their prisoner.
Do your work, then step back.
The only path to serenity.

Can you coax your mind from its wandering
and keep to the original oneness?
Can you let your body become
supple as a newborn child’s?
Can you cleanse your inner vision
until you see nothing but the light?
Can you love people and lead them
without imposing your will?
Can you deal with the most vital matters
by letting events take their course?
Can you step back from you own mind
and thus understand all things?

Giving birth and nourishing,
having without possessing,
acting with no expectations,
leading and not trying to control:
this is the supreme virtue.

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What if the world ended tomorrow?

This is my end-of-the-world-fantasy-for-example’s-sake so let’s get cracking…

What if the world ended tomorrow?

The end will be peaceful. No meteor collisions, no volcanic eruptions, no tsunamis, and no earthquakes. It will be a quiet end that every single person will be completely aware of its inevitability – here one minute and gone the next.

What would you do for the remaining 24 hours of your life? 

  • Would you love or hate?
  • Would you appreciate or neglect?
  • Would you forgive or forget?
  • Would you accept or deny?
  • Who would you spend your final time with?
  • Who would you reach out to and what would you say?
  • What would you say to others?
  • What would you say to yourself?

Why do we have to wait until the end to love, appreciate, forgive, accept, spend time with loved ones, reach out to others who’ve had an impact, and to have a heart-felt conversation with self?

Last week, I came across a post from an old friend and a darn good writer that inspired today’s perspective. Below are her words

On the last day of earth, people rose early. There was so much work to be done. Phone calls were made. Important sentiments were expressed. A new record was set for daily kisses.

No one went into the office. All businesses were closed. All eyes and ears and arms stayed open.

Some remained inside, cleaning their homes, returning everything back to its proper place.

Some poured themselves into the streets, shouting and laughing and roaring with life.

Some stayed quiet, pensive, breathing in the end of sweetness.

Some held strangers.

Some held animals.

Some held objects.

Some held the hands of their loved ones, all day, waiting.

People relaxed into their grief and made room for acceptance. The birds sang wildly of every beautiful thing. The dogs howled madly at invisible moons. The grass continued to grow. It was the opposite of disappearing.

“Now” whispered the wind.

The earth trembled in anticipation. The trees waved goodbye. The oceans overflowed with sad and happy tears.

The waves crashed, echoing the sound of the world’s first expression.The earth circled back towards nothingness, like all living things.

People watched from windows, trapped inside the blaze of their own bodies. There were so few ways to speak. There was so much that needed to be said. The hours dwindled. The sun moved across the sky.

In the last moments of the last hour of the last day of earth, everyone gathered together to stand separately in a crowd. Every phone was silent. All electronics were turned off.

People spoke, but didn’t really speak.

People laughed, but didn’t really laugh.

People cried, but didn’t really cry.

People prayed, but didn’t really pray.

People clung to one another. They held millions of years in their arms. They remembered the world in reverse – day before day, moon before moon, all the way back to the beginning.

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Define: Addiction

  • Addiction is a form of control, but what leads to that control?
  • Addiction is a symptom to an underlying cause, so we must define our true pain that we are suppressing or escaping.
  • On the outside, addiction involves reflective escapes – food, drugs, alcohol, sex, anger, depression, exercise, etc.
  • Deep down, addiction involves an escape from self – self-shame, self-sabotage, a lack of self-responsibility, a lack of self-awareness, and, ultimately, a lack of self-love.
  • We can overcome addiction when we become aware of what we are escaping and take responsibility for our actions.
  • We can overcome addiction when we see the value in what releasing that addiction can bring.
  • We can overcome addiction when we stop running away from ourselves, others, and our self-made problems, boundaries, expectations, boarders, shames, pains, or walls.
  • Addiction is an external attempt to find internal love.

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The Secret to Life: How to Lose Weight, Gain Muscle, and Get Healthy Now!

The Secret to Life! How to Lose Weight, Gain Muscle, and Get Healthy now!

Here it is! The answer everyone is looking for: How to Get Healthy and Stay Healthy in three easy steps!

Sound too good to be true? It’s not!

No hype.
No bull.
No marketing campaign.
No diet or detox miracle.
You don’t have to take any pills.
You don’t have to take any drugs.
You don’t have to starve yourself for weeks.
You don’t have to go from one diet craze to the next.
You don’t have to drink protein shake after protein shake.
You don’t have to weigh your food or weigh yourself every day.
You don’t have to run miles upon miles and do sit up after sit up.

Want to know how the heck you can get healthy starting right now?

L. F. B.

  • Love yourself.
  • Forgive yourself.
  • Be happy with yourself.

L. F. B.

Why do we become sick in the first place?
Why do we become sad?
Why do we eat too much?
Why do we not eat enough?
Why do we go from diet to diet?
Why do we go from exercise to exercise?
Why do we burn the wick at both ends?
Why do we believe that a fit body means a healthy body?
Why, now more than ever, is the United States becoming so unhealthy despite all of the diets, studies, and supplements available that apparently promote health?
Why, no matter what we do, can we not seem to get healthy?

  • Health comes when we take responsibility for our lives, our choices, and how we experience life.
  • Health comes when we are aware of why we may be unhealthy.
  • Health comes when we understand what it means to be healthy by questioning everything and listening to hour body.
  • Health comes when we have respect for ourselves, our body, and the food that we choose to become part of our body – our life.
  • Health comes when we balance our life’s wants and needs.
  • Health comes when we let down our ego and open up our heart.
  • Health comes when we provide a healthy external environment to reflect our internal environment.
  • Health comes when we do not place unrealistic expectations upon ourselves, others, or our experiences.
  • Health comes when we forgive our past so we can be present in the now and work towards hour future.
  • Health comes when we stop self-sabotaging.
  • Health comes when we are not ashamed of who we are on the outside because we accept ourselves on the inside.
  • Health comes when we accept who we are, and how we came to be.
  • Health comes when we do not compare ourselves to others.
  • Health comes when we understand that we are doing our very best in every moment and that no moment is ever wrong nor a mistake.
  • Health comes when you Love yourself.
  • Health comes when you Forgive yourself.
  • Health comes when you Be happy with yourself.

L. F. B.

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Self-Destruction

  • Why do we self-destruct?
  • Why do we cause ourselves more pain?
  • Why do we run away, bury, or hide in chaos?
  • Why do we not take self-responsibility and trade it for self-negligence?
  • Why do we not realize the immense pain we are causing ourselves by creating more pain?
  • Why do we build walls between ourselves and our surroundings to feel more protected when it only creates loneliness and fear?
  • Why do we turn to outer escapes to temporarily fill an inner void?
  • How did that void appear in the first place?

 What is necessary to be indestructible?

  • Self-responsibility
  • Self-awareness
  • Self-acceptance
  • Self-love
  • Self-trust
  • Self-fulfillment

Self-responsibility is important to understand why and how we experience life, but that responsibility can only come through awareness, acceptance, love, trust and fulfillment of self.

 1) Become aware of the cause – actions and reactions are symptoms

  • Take time to reflect on the possibility of self-unhappiness – Am I truly happy?
  • Take time to understand why self-unhappiness may exist – What makes me unhappy? 
  • Take time to revisit where and when self-unhappiness began – What are the first memories of my unhappiness – the root cause?
  • Take time to realize what are the symptoms of that cause – Actions, reactions, habits, personality, attitude, hurting, inflicting, neglecting, sabotaging, drowning, abandoning, excuses, avoiding, controlling, and selfishness to name a few.
  • Take time to see where that unhappiness has lead or built a path to present day – How did I get here?

2) Accept [and be grateful for] the past because it has shaped the present

  • Appreciate taking the time to reflect, understand, revisit, realize, and see the root cause – this is not always an easy first step.
  • Appreciate good and bad past experiences because today’s world would not exist without yesterday’s construction and destruction.
  • Appreciate the bad so it can be learned from and turned into good.
  • Appreciate all flaws, mistakes, imperfections, actions, reactions, judgements, assumptions, pains, shames, walls, and escapes as a part of self – I didn’t know any other way (this is all I knew how to do) and I did the best that I could at that time.

3) Unconditionally love self as a perfect culmination of the past and a desire of future

  • Forgiveness of self and others is an important step towards self-love
  • Love self of the past to love self of the present to be self of the future
  • Life is perfect because it occurs as it is intended - I am perfect.
  • Love can only be found within self. - An outside acceptance of love will come when an inside acceptance of love exists.
  • Give what is willing to be received. Receive what is willing to be given. – Karma.

4) Trust in self

  • Be open and honest with self.
  • Trust in self-love – My love is enough.
  • Trust that exists on the inside will attract trust that exists on the outside.
  • Trust and love in self are necessary to find trust and love in others.

5) Fulfill self – The effect of the cause

  • Awareness, Acceptance, Unconditional Love and Trust are the foundation of Self-fulfillment.
  • Self-happiness will come when it exists within.

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Wants vs Needs: Happiness

What do you Want to be happy?

What do you Need to be happy?

Our Wants can only come from outside ourselves.

Our Needs can only come from within ourselves.

No one ever Needs a big house, an expensive car, chic clothing, etc. Sure, they’re nice to have, but are they truly fulfilling? Do you Need them to actually be happy or are they a result of a Want?

According to the 2009 HPI (Happy Planet Index), the United States was ranked 114 of 143 polled countries in terms of Subjective Life Satisfaction, Life Expectancy, and Ecological Footprint. Many countries that are smaller, less wealthy, and had less financial opportunities than the US had much higher rates of happiness! So where does that happiness stem from?

Happiness begins and ends with “i” – the i’s ability to fulfill i’s Needs.

Be happy with self. Be happy within self. Love self.

A happiness [and love] with and of others will develop naturally when self happiness exists. 

Consider this perspective for self and for others. We are all doing our best.

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Question: Healing the past and regrets?

Do you have any advice for moving past something you regret? This situation is so stupid, but despite knowing for years that I can do nothing to change it, I still fret over it.

Perspective:

No situation is ever “stupid” (“wrong” or a “mistake”). That is your judgment and opinion of yourself – be kind! It’s easy to get caught up in self-shame because it makes the “pain” seem less bearable (“I’ll put myself down so no one else will”), but you are only creating more pain in the end. It’s Ok – this is a part of the learning, growing, and healing process.

Whatever the situation or moment in the past, at that time you did the very best that you could and it was exactly what you “wanted.” Obviously, you have grown emotionally and mentally since that occurrence and now you have the perspective, “if I could do it over again, I’d do it better.” What’s wrong with that? I think it is better to realize that you could have done things differently rather than being completely unaware of how you came to be. Appreciate self for reflecting on the past and understanding that you have grown. It’s not easy to revisit regrets, but it is a step towards self-awareness and self-discovery.

If the situation involved others, consider that they, too, did the very best that they could and may have a different way of acting/reacting to an experience. Your experience of yourself is unique, your experience of someone else is unique, their experience of themselves is unique, and their experience of you is unique. It’s easy to get caught up in right and wrong when everyone has a different definition of those two ego-driven words. Also, just as you had certain reasons for your actions/reactions, so did that other person…

  • Appreciate them for being a part of your experience.
  • Appreciate them for providing an opportunity for self-growth and self-awareness.
  • Appreciate them for sharing a moment in your life.

Take responsibility for your past self and your past experiences. You can only “blame” yourself. Yes, another person may have had an influence on your situation, but you are the only one who determines how you react/act to an experience. By taking responsibility for your past you can allow an acceptance, a forgiveness, and an understanding of who you are today.

Take time to understand and forgive the situation – then and now. The longer the situation goes unaddressed (is run away from), the longer it will be a factor (influence present day). That’s not to say dwell on it, but it is important to take time, emotion, and effort to reflect on the past so you can move on in the present.

Write down your experience of the situation. Our thoughts and emotions are real, but it may help to make them physically real by putting a pen to paper…

  • What happened?
  • When did it happen?
  • How did I feel before it happened?
  • How did I feel when it happened?
  • How did I feel after it happened?
  • Why do I think it happened?
  • Why did I react or act the way that I did?
  • Was this situation a symptom/result of a larger personal issue/cause?
  • What is the root cause/issue of my reaction or action?
  • What were my assumptions and judgements of the situation then?
  • What are my assumptions and judgments of the situation now?
  • What is the true situation? Not just my truth.
  • What can I learn from my past experience?
  • How much does my past experience affect my present day? (thinking about it and/or running away from it)
  • Why does it affect me?
  • What will it take for me to be happy now?
  • Can I forgive others in the situation?
  • Can I forgive myself?
  • Can I appreciate and be thankful for my experience?

There is a progression in healing old wounds. Be open to that progression. Be open to your feelings, your thoughts, and your emotions. Take time and make an effort to understand why they exist. Take responsibility for yourself and only yourself. Forgive yourself and forgive others. Appreciate your experiences then and now because you wouldn’t be who you are today without them.

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What is Ego?

  • The Ego is the opposite of your real Self.
  • The Ego is not you.
  • The Ego is the deception created by the society so that you can go on playing with the toy and never ask about the real thing.
  • Unless you drop the Ego, you’ll never come to know your true Self.
  • When you were born you had your authentic Self then [society] started creating a false Self.
    • You are Christian. You are Catholic. You are white. You are black. You are German. You are Irish. You are the chosen race of God. You are supposed to rule over the world. 
  • [Society] creates a false idea of who you are – they give you a name and around the name they create ambitions, conditionings, and rules to bind by.
  • It takes 1/3 of your life working on your Ego – school.
  • By the time you come back from University you have forgotten your innocent being – you are now a very big Ego – “now, you are ready to go into the world” as if the world doesn’t being when we are born.
    • This Ego has all the desires and ambitions. It wants to always be on the top of everything. It never allows you even a glimpse of your real, authentic Self.
  • The Ego only produces misery, suffering, fighting, frustration, madness, martyrdom, crime, loneliness, running, pushing, confusion, misunderstanding, selfishness.
  • A seeker of truth has to begin from this very point – whatever you have been told by society must be discarded.
  • Nobody can know who you are except for yourself – not your parents, teachers, priests, friends, or loved ones.
  • Except for yourself, nobody can enter in the privacy of your Being.
  • Nobody knows about you – whatever is said is all wrong – put it aside.
  • Dismantle the Ego – in destroying the Ego you will discover your Being.
  • The discovery of your Being is the greatest discovery possible – it starts a totally new pilgrammage towards ultimate bliss, towards eternal life.
  • You can choose frustration, suffering, misery – go on holding the Ego, nursing it.
  • Choose silence and bliss, and recover your innocence.

[via]

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We Are All Doing Our Best

Our full potential is 100%, right?

We do our very best to give 100% of 100% of ourselves.

Sometimes we are only able to give 80%, 75%, or even 50% of 100% of ourselves.

Whether we give 80% or 50%, we are still giving our best effort of 80% or 50%.

We all have emotions, beliefs, obstacles, burdens, struggles, conflicts, past pains, judgements, and shames that have the ability to limit our potential.

Let’s say you and I are in the same class together. We have a test one morning that is graded immediately. After 10 minutes you hand in your test and get back a 100% of 100%. After 30 minutes I hand in my test and get back 30% of 100%. Naturally, we can conclude that you’re smarter than me based off of the grade and the time it took to complete… but is that really true based off of one (or even several repeated) experience(s)?

What if I didn’t eat a good breakfast that morning and that affected my blood sugar, mental clarity, and ability to retain information?

What if I wasn’t able to fully study because I had to take care of my little brother who has been sick for quite some time?

What if I was dealing with an internal emotional battle because my parents were going through a divorce?

What if I don’t care about school and constantly fail tests, but that is a manifestation of a sexual shame that I experienced when I was younger to believe I am not good enough in present day?

What if I knew all of the answers but chose to fail because it was more fulfilling to be perfectly “stupid” rather than being perfectly “smart”?

I may have failed the test, but I was giving my best – it may not have been my 100% best, but it was my best effort given my situation(s).

Do not judge, assume, or blame others for their faults (we do that enough to ourselves) – have faith, trust, and encourage others for their abilities.

Do not give people the benefit of the doubt – give people the benefit, the respect, and the empathy that they deserve.

Be kind. For everyone you meet if fighting a hard battle. - Plato

Mistakes

To commit a mistake is not wrong – commit as many mistakes as possible because that is the way you will be learning more. But don’t commit the same mistakes again and again, because that makes you stupid. 

-Osho

While Osho is a bit blunt in his words, they hold some truth. But let’s throw out the word stupid. Let’s throw out the negative connotation of [continuous] mistakes. Are not we all on our own path? Are not we all learning at our own pace? Who’s to say that a continuous mistake is wrong when we learn the right in the end? In hindsight we can see where our path took a wrong turn, but can we argue that turn was necessary regardless of its time or the time it took to understand?

A perspective shift is in order for the word mistake and the action of making a mistake.

Why are mistakes considered wrong?
Why can’t we see within the moment that “wrongs” can actually turn into a future “right”?

Those very mistakes that we perceive to yield [temporary] failure can lead us to [eternal] success.

Everything that occurs is a culmination of perfection.
There are no wrongs. There are no mistakes.

With that mentality you don’t have to make a mistake ever again.
With that mentality you can only experience success.

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