Category Archives: perspective

See the big picture in everything

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Happy Monday,

So, I live in the city of Philadelphia in the northeastern region of the States. We have all four seasons and are currently at the tail-end of a frequent-snow-fall-of-a Winter, heading for a-hopefully-warm-and-refreshing Spring. Everyone and their brother seems to be ready for Spring. We all thought mother nature was, too, because she gave us a few warm days here and there, and about a month ago we were blessed with a warm weekend in the 60′s (about 15 Celsius). But, last week, out of no where, the weather took a turn and we were greeted with significant snowfall. Ok, so my day-job has me primarily outside in all types of weather and I am able to interact with a good amount of people who share the same fate. 100% of the people I talked to that day were not happy campers… Where’s the sun? What’s with this snow? I’ll be good when this weather is gone! What a crappy day. Yeah, a happy spring to you, too! Absolutely no one – not one soul – could take the day for what it was (a gorgeous snowy day) and, instead, everyone dwelled upon what the day was not (not sunny and 60). Hallelujah blog post!

This perspective shift can be better summed up as: See the big picture in everything. Take a step out of your skewed reality, your constricted awareness, your filtered conditioning, your negative nancy-isms, and look at life through the eyes of – as cliche as it is – through the eyes of God. And by God, I mean, through the eyes of nature, through the eyes of a greater consciousness, through the eyes of a wholeness and connectedness, through the eyes of a universal understanding, through the eyes of sincerity and compassion, through the eyes of the universe. And by all of that shenanigans, I mean, let go of what you think should be, of what you expect, of what you assume, of what you judge, of what you’re holding onto, of what you impose and project upon others (including nature) so you can see, feel, hear, and experience the beauty in everything.

You, and only you, have the power to turn the 5 random-ass inches of snowfall on the second day of Spring into such a beautiful occurrence that nature so generously provides. You, and only you, have the power to turn any negative experience – it could actually be the most negative and daunting situation in the world – and turn it into the best thing to have ever happened to you, to your perspective, to your humanity, to your path, to your personality, to your mentality, to your emotions, to your spirituality, and to your inner self.

I’ll leave you all with a perspective that I came across on this thing called the Internet…

beforeyoujudge

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What are your dreams?

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Happy Monday,

What are your dreams? What is your bliss? Have you found it? Are you following it? Why is it your bliss?

What are your aspirations? What are your goals in life?

What will it take for you to be happy and content in your pursuit of happiness? What do you need to be happy? What non-physical and physical experiences or ideas do you need?

What do you want to accomplish in your lifetime? Immediately, and in the future?

What steps will you take to get there? If you don’t know the exact steps, what steps can you take to get you from A to B, B to C, C to D, D to E, and, ultimately, to Z (and perhaps beyond)?

Why do you have these goals? Who or what compels you to pursue such an idea? Who or what inspires you? And why?

Do you have a time frame to accomplish your dreams?

Why that time frame? How does it relate to your destiny?

Do you believe that your fate relies in your consciousness, a greater consciousness, or the combination of both… to meet a greater consciousness half-way?

Do you believe in yourself enough to accomplish your dreams?

 

You can do absolutely anything that you want to do in this lifetime on this earth, amongst the stars. How lucky are we?

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You only live once

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Happy Monday,

Cut to me standing in line at Starbucks some months ago with two teenagers gossiping back and forth just one spot ahead. As their turn neared, one of the girls turns to the food display and began eying up the baked goods while predicting aloud their caloric value. She eyed and described them in succession, reaching what seemed to be the most unhealthy, ball-parked its calories, decided to purchase that good, she then turned to her friend, cocked her head to the side and exclaimed “YOLO!” I shook my inner head at the time and have since retold that story to my friends because I think it’s pretty hilarious that I was able to experience that reality, but there’s definitely something more to it that decided to stick with me…

Fast forward to my recent weekend where I ran into an old friend where we happened to be at the same event to share the day with a mutual friend. After we had our fun, the group made its way to a crappy sports bar chain that will remain nameless, but I will say that there are chicken extremities involved. Sports bars aren’t really known as healthy havens. I say sports bar and I think wings, beer, burgers, and vegetable oil. This bar was no different and with menu options of a burger topped with mozzarella sticks and tomato sauce, well it just doesn’t get any more sloppier than this, folks. Now, I’ve always been known as somewhat of a health freak, nazi, stiff, and all around weirdo when it comes to eating food or my eating habits. I’ve come to be rather lax about it, but in my days of yesteryear I would have macguyvered some sort of “healthy” meal at an “unhealthy” establishment by pairing big green salads with grilled-this or from-the-storage-closet fruit with poached-that just so I could maintain my diet. My old friend still had the mentality that I lived and breathed like this, so after we sat down and looked at the menu he promptly asked if I am ok with the food options, am I still eating super healthy these days, yadda, yadda, yadda. I came back with, “I eat whatever. I just don’t care anymore. It’s more of a mental health approach for me because I spent too many days caring so much and being so unhappy all in the name of health.” His reaction was floored, but so excited to hear my personal breakthrough. My close friends, this one included, can relate to not making a big deal, not making such a fuss, and just living your life as best you can because in 2011 we lost a very important person in our lives to an accident. He immediately brought up our late-great friend, agreeing whole-heartedly with my approach to stop giving a shit about… well, stupid shit. At that moment everything kinda clicked for me to be like, “Yeah man, you’re doing it!.”

I’ve been practicing a “no diet diet” since September of 2012. One day I just had a perspective shift to stop giving such a shit about food and to take the necessary steps towards mental and emotional happiness; allowing for the physical to follow suit instead of the other way around. I can eat all of the healthy food in the world, but if my mind isn’t fully behind it, if I’m doing it because I think it’s better for me, or if eating turns into a chore then, my friends, I will get absolutely no where. And for a very long time I could not get close to where I wanted to be in terms of personal happiness because of this freaking food wrench I was throwing at myself on a daily basis. To show you where I’m at, I am not eating what I define as “unhealthy” food every day, but I’m certainly not limited myself when the opportunities present themselves to eat a few donuts for breakfast, to make an impromptu Wendy’s trip at 2am, to bathe myself in pizza, or to order a sloppy burger, fries, and a beer at some crap sports bar in the company of good friends.

“Suffering ends when we let go” is a quote that I just made up but I’m sure I came across something similar not too yonder ago that didn’t mean much until I was able to experience it for myself. Having said that, it’s time to bring back the YOLO girls at the beginning of this story. Perhaps they may have been just joking about it, but to some people, specifically me, that joke has been such a life-changing-for-the-better experience when it comes to eating and building a path towards my ultimate happiness. A lot of people poke fun at YOLO. A lot of people say it without much thought behind its meaning. I think it’s a damn good approach to living one’s life as the most fulfilling and most meaningful experience one could ever dream of… because we really do only live once in this body and for us to go through that experience unhappy WITH ANYTHING does not make one bit of sense to me at this point in my understanding.

You only live once. Do everything and anything that you desire. Make the absolute most of our experience on this earth.

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Intolerance, understandings, and Princess Diana

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Happy Monday folks,

“The greatest problem in the world today is intolerance. Everyone is so intolerant of each other.”

- Princess Diana

Having said that…

“If each man or woman could understand that every other human life is as full of sorrows, or joys, or base temptations, of heartaches and of remorse as his own… how much kinder, how much gentler he would be.”

- William Allen White

I came across the above quotes earlier this week and sat with them a bit. I sat with them to really take in what they mean to me; my interpretations according to my understandings, which is one of my points today. Quotes mean what I want or need them to mean to justify or expand my reality, respectively. According to my definition, this intolerance that Princess Di speaks of exists because people do not have a reason nor an understanding for tolerance to have a place in their lives. Said people are quaint in their reality of self-righteousness and existence, not co-existing. I suggest that intolerance is not really the issue at play. The language that we use when approaching such universal subjects is what gets lost in the definition shuffle.

Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy the late Princess’ approach to raise an awareness that we are so unaccepting, or perhaps impatient, and it is that which brings suffering to the masses. But, what struck a nerve for me is her use of the words, problem and intolerance. They produce such a negative connotation to such an inspiring perspective. What that quote says to me is that we need to be more tolerant. We need to be more able to put up with people’s shit. No where does it say how to do such a thing. No where does it offer an opposing approach. Not only do I read negativity, but I also read subjectivity because I do not believe that everyone can relate to intolerance. To relate to intolerance we all have to experience intolerance on the same level and I’m not so sure if that fits into everyone’s reality. Ya understand? This brings me to the second quote by Mr. William Allen White. I believe, with the help of White’s words, that the greatest reality (not problem) we face is what we do not understand nor care to understand, and not intolerance. It is from that foundation that breeds tolerance or intolerance. It is from that foundation that we accept or dismiss. It is from that foundation that can lead to joy or suffering for one or many. “How much kinder, how much gentler he would be” if we took the time to understand a reality that was not our own by using such relatable life experiences (sorrow, joy, temptations, remorse) that we all share to give oneself a glimpse into another’s journey. Sure, we don’t all have to live such cliche morbid lives, but the reality is that life can be tough if we don’t make an effort to understand nor give consideration to ourselves and others.

What quotes say is one thing for us to understand. What they don’t say and imply is a-whole-nother ballpark that’s rarely sees the limelight.

“Silence is the language of god, all else is poor translation.”

- Rumi

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Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle

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Happy Monday (wo)men,

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” Plato

I really enjoy this quote because I am able to apply it in my life and I am able to understand it in relation to my experiences. Throughout my trials I realized that advice… any advice… it could be the best advice in the world… will not make a difference unless I (emphasis on I) am able to create a connection to my life; until I am able to fit the words or perspective into my definition of reality. I have my share of hard battles and those battles certainly affect the way I see, hear, do, don’t do, act, or react to my experiences. There’s nothing wrong with me for being the way I am (and there’s nothing wrong with you, either). I have chosen my current path because this is what I feel that is best for me. I am doing things the way I need to on my own time and at my own pace as I experience life. My path may not be deemed “right” by some. It may be deemed weird, dumb, stupid, lame, odd, not normal, gay, or even loser-esque by some. And I may not agree with the paths of others, too. The difference is how I act or react upon other’s reality in relation to how the self-righteous act or react upon my reality… I am kind. I am considerate. I get it.

I experience life in a completely different light than I did two years ago; post some life-changing experiences that brought me to question everything about my life (hence the blog). These days my daily interactions with people have me silently eager to understand the person who speaks, the person who sees, the person who hears, who acts, and who reacts. I am curious as to what their reality is, who they are, and why they are. I am curious as to what battles they are fighting within themselves that may project outwardly. We all choose different projections or personality quirks or coping mechanisms or vices or reasonings. For instance, I am quiet, introverted, and retreat to the depths of my mind because that’s how I choose to project. Someone else may choose to be loud, to be angry, to want attention, or another reality that is completely different than mine. It’s really an interesting view for me. I analyze my reality of others all because of this Plato quote and the fact that I was able to relate it to my life. Going further, I have taken this quote to music and how I now listen to/relate to music. Last year I got lost in the blues. I got lost in another’s interpretation of music, of lyrics, of guitar riffs, of their reality and nothing projects more than broken men singing and playing the hell out of the blues. Music has come back into my life with such a bigger meaning than it ever did before.

I am generalizing a bit. I am suggesting that one must go through some shit in order for things to click towards the betterment of one’s path. This is how I do things. It tends to be the hard way, but the easy way was never meant to be for me (at least not in the big picture… although small victories do add up). Yeah, I probably could have done things differently, but I would have ended up back on the same path that brought me here (perhaps just delayed) because, again, advice or perspectives meant nothing until I was able to apply it to my life. If there isn’t an understood personal value in a proposed change then it will not hold water until that requirement is met. Hell, you can memorize math formulas all damn day and absolutely nothing will stick, nothing will hold value, until you’re able to apply it to and understand it in accordance to your problems.

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. Take other’s battles into consideration as you consider your own. Life is too damn short to go around judging, assuming, pushing, or projecting upon others. Be kind.

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Time is only a factor if you make it one

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Happy Monday earthlings,

True story…

I met a friend for lunch in center city Philly not too long ago. I arrived early and stood curb-side awaiting his car to turn the corner so I could flag him towards a parking spot I had eyed. While I was waiting, a 20-something girl walked into my peripheral pushing along two bikes towards a bike rack. I took notice because there was one of her and two bikes; plus, I tend to notice girls more often than not. I reset my attention to the street, but couldn’t help to hear her struggles… the oomphs, sighs, and clanging annoyance coming from her experience certainly did not go unnoticed. Was she really that frustrated or was she subtly asking for assistance? I took a peak and saw that she only had one u-lock for two bikes. Hm… this should be interesting. Without waiting for my inner dialogue to over-analyze the situation she moved to another bike rack, a free-standing post directly in front of me. I stepped back out of what I perceived to be courtesy; giving her space, letting her do her thing. She struggled some more. She oomphed some more. Then I did one of those one-move, gliding step-in’s for what seemed like a necessary move in the interlock-two-bikes-to-a-rack puzzle. She thanked me and back I went to my car-flagging position. A few more minutes went by as I snuck a few peaks of her progress and then bam… she got it! She stood up, looked right at me, exclaimed with a frustrated relief, “10 minutes!” and walked off. My response was, “Hey, at least it got done?” (the idiot-meter in my head didn’t help my cause… That’s the best you could have said to her? Dude, aren’t you supposed to be prolific?)

In immediate hindsight I wish I had said something a bit more impactful than “at least it got done,” but the statement was pretty spot-on, nonetheless. As I mulled over the situation, analyzing it like any normal person does, it hit me that perhaps she made time more of a factor than it needed to be. Yep. That. I should have said that! Next time, right? Two-bikes-one-lock girl, if you are reading this…

Ok, so it took her 10 minutes to lock two bikes together to a bike rack. What’s wrong with that? It got done. Why does it matter how long it took? How come she didn’t take her unconditional reality into consideration and not the pressed-for-time-self-defeating-insecure-societal-standards reality that I perceived-assumed she was experiencing? For starters, the U-lock she used was quite small for its task. Its dimensions were designed for locking one bike in close proximity to a fixture. Her goal was to use that individual bike lock to loop through one bike frame, loop through the rack opening, loop through another bike frame, and then apply the locking bar which took away a good inch of locking room. That’s asking a lot from a bike lock. But in her eyes the bike lock nor its small design nor the fact that she had two bikes to conjoin were not factors – only time was. With frequent practice I could see the memorizations of patterns and angles coming into play to lessen the locking time, but it seemed like she was a first timer with the two-bike rendezvous. “10 minutes!” I didn’t know it was a race?

I dislike our developed concept of time. I dislike the barrier, the stipulation, the hinderance, and the limiting-factor that project upon time. I dislike the powerlessness that our projection of time suggests. I dislike our natural associations that make time such a factor: statistics, age, race, gender, religion, pressures, status-quo’s, generations, life-span, and comparisons in general. I dislike that we have the mentality that time is everything.

No. Life is everything. We think they’re the same. Life is not restricted to time. We make it so. Life is not a measurement. Life is not a comparison. Life is not a reference. Life is an experience.

I understand time’s many, many needs and uses. I do not understand why time such a dominating factor in our lives. So what if it takes you 10 minutes to lock your bikes? So what if you are in college at an older age than the norm? So what if you’re late to work? So what if you are just discovering passions you wish you had appreciated more when you were a kid? So what if you’re not where you imagined your life to be by this age? So what if you haven’t found a job immediately after college?

Time is only a factor if you make it one.

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Political perspectives

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As I was driving down the highway a few days ago, I noticed a rather recent edition to the billboard community. It was a republican-sponsored-Mitt-Romney-backing ad campaign for the upcoming American Presidential election which read…

Obama supports Gay Marriage.
Obama supports Abortion.
Do you?

My initial reaction was an are-you-fucking-kidding-me? laugh. I laughed not because I was raised in a conservative family, not because I was influenced by a liberal high school, city-life, and touring-musician community experience, and not because I frankly don’t give a shit about politics. I laughed at the chosen subject matter; the supposed aha! perspective that’s directed to sway a voter. Out of anything that could have been written – taxes, poverty, unemployment, medicare, global warming, energy efficiency, the food industry, etc. – a group of people chose a subject matter that is completely personal, invasive and, frankly, none of anyone’s God-given-free-right-to-choose-and-live-their-life-they-way-they-see-fit damn business. It’s hard to understand how at least one person had something-along-the-mindset of, “Yep, this is the best idea ever,” but, then again, that hypothetical person could probably say the same thing about my questioning, too.

So I spent the rest of my 30 minute-drive trying to understand what this perspective represents and here’s what I’ve come up with…

As long as there are personal opinions, biased “truths,” self-righteousness, manipulating motives, self-reflective judgements, conditioned assumptions, and habitual/cultural boundaries then this world will never learn to truly love, to take the time to understand, and to unconditionally accept one another.

Politics does not have to be about he-said-she-said-bullshit, about right and wrong, about good or bad, about money and power, or about taking sides. I think the American fore fathers did a noble thing by stating that “Every man was created equal,” but we have yet to see that mindset exist on a universal scale.

Replace hate, greed, selfishness, and personal opinions with unconditional love and see how much “change” is possible.

 

If you’d like to discuss this perspective along with other health-related insights, please contact me for a FREE Conversation.

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Are bad times not-so-bad after all?

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Why are bad times bad? 

Why can’t we spin the bad times to actually be good – if not the best thing to happen to us?

We can learn a lot from the worst of the worst; the bad of the bad. Absolutely everything can prove to be a learning experience – an untapped perspective on life and on ourselves that we’ve never seen before. I understand that certain bad times aren’t ideal. For instance, I’ve recently dealt with the loss of a good friend and it’s certainly not an easy reality to grasp… but I have come to learn a great deal from the experience. I’ve learned a lot about a lot: how I experience myself, how I experience my loved ones, and how I experience life. Do I wish I came to this realization in a different manner? Of course, but the impact or gratitude may not have been as prominent.

I’m encouraging you to look at every bad experience as good, if not the best experiences of your life to date. Instead of asking “why did this happen to me?,” say “I experienced this through my personal definition of reality and I am going to take responsibility for my reality, my experience, my thoughts, my feelings, my actions, and my reactions, and I’m going to use that responsibility towards the betterment of myself. Nothing ever happens to me, only I decide how I let an experience affect or reflect upon me.”

We can’t always prevent bad times, but we can certainly view them in a different light so they’re not-so-bad after all.

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Define: Right and wrong

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To think we are right completely negates any possibility of being wrong, any possibility of other perspectives, any possibility of other ways to approach or carry out a situation, any possibility for others to have a say in the situation, any possibility for others to be right, and, most importantly, any possibility to learn from the situation and to learn about ourselves (to learn why we think we are right).

I’ve had my share of interactions where my approach to a situation was completely different than another’s and, since my approach was different, it was considered wrong in their eyes. No matter what sort of reasoning or explanation I tried to provide, I was not right. An open perspective from both parties would have helped much more – understanding the other’s approach rather than labeling or denouncing with biased reasoning.

I’ve been on the other side, too, (thinking I’m right) because of my reasoning, beliefs, or interpretations. And that’s where things can get crazy because we all have different reasoning, beliefs, and interpretations. Right and wrong are not facts – they are personal opinions or personal realities based off of our experienced beliefs (it’s a form of conditioning). We can each experience a situation differently; therefore, we can each define right and wrong differently. It’s very possible to be right AND wrong at the same time. For example…

How many faces do you see in the above picture? Take a few minutes…

There are two faces. One facing forward and the other facing to the left (<-). Let’s say this picture represents a difference of opinion between two people: the situation remains consistent (a picture of two faces); one person can only see one face while the other can only see the other face. No matter how much these people may argue I’m right or you’re wrong, it won’t make any difference because they’re not allowing themselves to see, understand, believe, or interpret what the other person sees. Both are right, but they cannot see the big picture (it’s unbiased truth) because they become blinded when they only address the picture on a personal level.

Next time you find yourself providing an opinion: Take time to understand why you think you are right. Take time to understand why you think someone else is wrong. What are your beliefs or interpretations? Why do they exist? What do them stem from? What deeper reasoning/experience do you have to believe in your definition of right and wrong? What makes you you? Can you re-think your thought process to look at a situation more objectively rather than subjectively? Can you admit that no one is right or wrong – that the situation is interpreted differently by two people and just by that realization so many doors can open towards understanding, empathy, and possible agreement?

How we see things truly defines how we interpret or define things – consider this concept for yourself and for others.

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I want to be perfect

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What is perfection?

Can we ever be perfect?

Why do some believe that they aren’t perfect?

Perfect is what you are right now.

Perfect is what you are experiencing right now.

Perfect is the culmination of everything that you are and were, that you experience and have experienced, that you think, feel, believe, do, don’t do, see, touch, smell, taste, hear, want, need, desire, shame, approve of, lust, love, or hate.

You pass a test? It is the perfect culmination of studying, attention, awareness, memory, dedication, drive, understanding, sleep, nutrition, and hydration.

You break your leg? It is the perfect culmination of force, stress, angle, timing, placement, environment, and weakness.

You think you are right? It is the perfect culmination of past experiences, beliefs, values, personal realities, perceptions, logic, communication, and understanding.

You end up being wrong? It is the perfect culmination past experiences, beliefs, values, personal realities, perceptions, logic, miscommunication, and misunderstanding.

Put yourself, what you have experienced, and what you continue to experience into perspective – understand what you define as perfect and why that definition exists.

Put the word perfect into perspective – it’s not a comparison to others, it’s a culmination of your being.

Instead of trying, wanting, wishing, or desiring to be perfect… just be.

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