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Video: Cause & Effect: How the media you consume can change your life
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Category Archives: Self-Esteem
The Secret to Life: How to Lose Weight, Gain Muscle, and Get Healthy Now!
The Secret to Life! How to Lose Weight, Gain Muscle, and Get Healthy now!
Here it is! The answer everyone is looking for: How to Get Healthy and Stay Healthy in three easy steps!
Sound too good to be true? It’s not!
No hype.
No bull.
No marketing campaign.
No diet or detox miracle.
You don’t have to take any pills.
You don’t have to take any drugs.
You don’t have to starve yourself for weeks.
You don’t have to go from one diet craze to the next.
You don’t have to drink protein shake after protein shake.
You don’t have to weigh your food or weigh yourself every day.
You don’t have to run miles upon miles and do sit up after sit up.
Want to know how the heck you can get healthy starting right now?
L. F. B.
- Love yourself.
- Forgive yourself.
- Be happy with yourself.
L. F. B.
Why do we become sick in the first place?
Why do we become sad?
Why do we eat too much?
Why do we not eat enough?
Why do we go from diet to diet?
Why do we go from exercise to exercise?
Why do we burn the wick at both ends?
Why do we believe that a fit body means a healthy body?
Why, now more than ever, is the United States becoming so unhealthy despite all of the diets, studies, and supplements available that apparently promote health?
Why, no matter what we do, can we not seem to get healthy?
- Health comes when we take responsibility for our lives, our choices, and how we experience life.
- Health comes when we are aware of why we may be unhealthy.
- Health comes when we understand what it means to be healthy by questioning everything and listening to hour body.
- Health comes when we have respect for ourselves, our body, and the food that we choose to become part of our body – our life.
- Health comes when we balance our life’s wants and needs.
- Health comes when we let down our ego and open up our heart.
- Health comes when we provide a healthy external environment to reflect our internal environment.
- Health comes when we do not place unrealistic expectations upon ourselves, others, or our experiences.
- Health comes when we forgive our past so we can be present in the now and work towards hour future.
- Health comes when we stop self-sabotaging.
- Health comes when we are not ashamed of who we are on the outside because we accept ourselves on the inside.
- Health comes when we accept who we are, and how we came to be.
- Health comes when we do not compare ourselves to others.
- Health comes when we understand that we are doing our very best in every moment and that no moment is ever wrong nor a mistake.
- Health comes when you Love yourself.
- Health comes when you Forgive yourself.
- Health comes when you Be happy with yourself.
L. F. B.
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Wants vs Needs: Happiness
What do you Want to be happy?
What do you Need to be happy?
Our Wants can only come from outside ourselves.
Our Needs can only come from within ourselves.
No one ever Needs a big house, an expensive car, chic clothing, etc. Sure, they’re nice to have, but are they truly fulfilling? Do you Need them to actually be happy or are they a result of a Want?
According to the 2009 HPI (Happy Planet Index), the United States was ranked 114 of 143 polled countries in terms of Subjective Life Satisfaction, Life Expectancy, and Ecological Footprint. Many countries that are smaller, less wealthy, and had less financial opportunities than the US had much higher rates of happiness! So where does that happiness stem from?
Happiness begins and ends with “i” – the i’s ability to fulfill i’s Needs.
Be happy with self. Be happy within self. Love self.
A happiness [and love] with and of others will develop naturally when self happiness exists.
Consider this perspective for self and for others. We are all doing our best.
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What is Ego?
- The Ego is the opposite of your real Self.
- The Ego is not you.
- The Ego is the deception created by the society so that you can go on playing with the toy and never ask about the real thing.
- Unless you drop the Ego, you’ll never come to know your true Self.
- When you were born you had your authentic Self then [society] started creating a false Self.
- You are Christian. You are Catholic. You are white. You are black. You are German. You are Irish. You are the chosen race of God. You are supposed to rule over the world.
- [Society] creates a false idea of who you are – they give you a name and around the name they create ambitions, conditionings, and rules to bind by.
- It takes 1/3 of your life working on your Ego – school.
- By the time you come back from University you have forgotten your innocent being – you are now a very big Ego – “now, you are ready to go into the world” as if the world doesn’t being when we are born.
- This Ego has all the desires and ambitions. It wants to always be on the top of everything. It never allows you even a glimpse of your real, authentic Self.
- The Ego only produces misery, suffering, fighting, frustration, madness, martyrdom, crime, loneliness, running, pushing, confusion, misunderstanding, selfishness.
- A seeker of truth has to begin from this very point – whatever you have been told by society must be discarded.
- Nobody can know who you are except for yourself – not your parents, teachers, priests, friends, or loved ones.
- Except for yourself, nobody can enter in the privacy of your Being.
- Nobody knows about you – whatever is said is all wrong – put it aside.
- Dismantle the Ego – in destroying the Ego you will discover your Being.
- The discovery of your Being is the greatest discovery possible – it starts a totally new pilgrammage towards ultimate bliss, towards eternal life.
- You can choose frustration, suffering, misery – go on holding the Ego, nursing it.
- Choose silence and bliss, and recover your innocence.
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We Are All Doing Our Best
Our full potential is 100%, right?
We do our very best to give 100% of 100% of ourselves.
Sometimes we are only able to give 80%, 75%, or even 50% of 100% of ourselves.
Whether we give 80% or 50%, we are still giving our best effort of 80% or 50%.
We all have emotions, beliefs, obstacles, burdens, struggles, conflicts, past pains, judgements, and shames that have the ability to limit our potential.
Let’s say you and I are in the same class together. We have a test one morning that is graded immediately. After 10 minutes you hand in your test and get back a 100% of 100%. After 30 minutes I hand in my test and get back 30% of 100%. Naturally, we can conclude that you’re smarter than me based off of the grade and the time it took to complete… but is that really true based off of one (or even several repeated) experience(s)?
What if I didn’t eat a good breakfast that morning and that affected my blood sugar, mental clarity, and ability to retain information?
What if I wasn’t able to fully study because I had to take care of my little brother who has been sick for quite some time?
What if I was dealing with an internal emotional battle because my parents were going through a divorce?
What if I don’t care about school and constantly fail tests, but that is a manifestation of a sexual shame that I experienced when I was younger to believe I am not good enough in present day?
What if I knew all of the answers but chose to fail because it was more fulfilling to be perfectly “stupid” rather than being perfectly “smart”?
I may have failed the test, but I was giving my best – it may not have been my 100% best, but it was my best effort given my situation(s).
Do not judge, assume, or blame others for their faults (we do that enough to ourselves) – have faith, trust, and encourage others for their abilities.
Do not give people the benefit of the doubt – give people the benefit, the respect, and the empathy that they deserve.
Be kind. For everyone you meet if fighting a hard battle. - Plato
Bryon Katie’s 5 Questions of Inquiry
Identify if your thoughts are worth your time and energy
- Is it true?
- Is it absolutely true?
- How do you feel when you think that thought?
- How do you feel when you don’t think that thought?
- Can you turn it around?
It is easy to get wrapped up in a thought.
It is easy to believe a thought to be the truth when it is only seen from one side of that truth.
We must allow ourselves to open up and see the big picture in every situation.
We must allow ourselves to open up and see the big picture in every thought.
We must understand the great power of thought and to not let it overpower us.
We must take control of our thoughts by taking perspective of them.
“By changing the mind, you can completely change the experience.”
It’ll Come With Practice
I was in a text conversation with a good friend of mine earlier this week. She had recently moved to the West Coast to pursue her career and is now faced with reality of applying to jobs, “selling herself” through her resume/cover letter, and is also dealing with the anxiety of internal/external expectations and personal judgements. After a few perspective exchanges we came across the concept of practice…
Just like it took you years of practice and understanding through “doing” to get to this point, finding a job that’s right for you may take that same concept of practice and understanding. Do your best, be true to yourself, and have confidence that what you give will return the same.
Thank youYeah, living in the present has been a major challenge for me, but continuing to… bring myself back [to the present] every time I start to panic has proven to be helpful. Sounds like a such a simple practice, but I guess a lot of things are easier said than done.
It’ll come WITH practice
At that point, she sent the following video…
I had never seen this video, so it was a pleasant surprise for two reasons…
1) It’s so genuine and uplifting
2) The boy must be no more than 5-6 years old and “gets it”
Everybody,
I know you can believe in yourself.
If you believe in yourself, you will know how to ride a bike.
If you don’t [know], you just keep practicing.
You will get the hang of it and I know it.
If you keep practicing you will get the hang of it, and then you will get better and better at it if you do it.
This boy learned how to ride a bike by
- Setting a goal – Dreams, desires, the end of a chapter
- Creating a path towards that goal – Consistent practice
- Understanding that little things go a long way – Subtle efforts bring big results
- Believing in self that he will succeed – Self-empowerment, Self-Confidence
- Not placing boundaries for success – Time, expectations, judgments, & ego do not let a moment “be” at it is intended (he’s 5, he doesn’t have time for all of that self-destructive crap)
All we can ask of ourselves is to be at our best within the present moment. With each passing experience we have the opportunity to learn, to understand, and to use our past experiences to our present advantage. We can all learn from him by applying these simple life concepts to our built-up-to-be-not-so-simple life.
How Do You See Yourself?
When you are facing someone that you love – looking at them as if you were looking in a mirror – what do you see? Do you see their flaws or their judgements? Do you experience their past pains or their burdens? – or – Do you see the love that you posses for them and what they mean to you? Do you experience the unconditional acceptance of their life and trails, and the positive feeling that you get when you are around them?
Chances are, most people will experience the latter when looking at another person for whom they care. Yet, we tend to experience the former when looking at ourselves. Why can’t we look into the mirror and experience for ourselves that same unconditional love when we look at others? Why do our outside looks often determine our inside feelings (when really that manifestation is the opposite)? Why does it matter how skinny, fat, muscular, tall or short we are; how our hair, eyes, or skin look; or how smart or “stupid” we may come off?
It is important to notice what we wish to better, and at the same time we must understand that those betterments will come with awareness, subtle efforts, and in due time. Life is a progression. We cannot push, force, expect, or limit self to be anything else, but self.
More importantly, we must accept self for who we are, how we came to be, and who we wish to be. An unconditional acceptance of self requires the understanding that you are perfect. Look in a mirror and see yourself through the “eyes” of your heart – not your ego, not your past, and not your pain.
We put material or physical perfection on a pedestal. We yearn for it, yet when we think we have achieved it, we only want more. Perhaps we spend a lifetime trying to be perfect and can never quite get there because of expectations (personal boundaries). It’s also possible that we try to be the opposite of perfect, when in reality, we are trying to be perfectly opposite. That type of outward perfection will never satisfy us and will actually drive us further away from our true self. In order to achieve what we truly need in this life – not what we want or what society, family, friends tells us what we want – we must find self love by going within.
But, what if you don’t think that you’re perfect? What if you don’t know how to accept or love yourself? I can only provide you with this perspective…
Are you happier, healthier, more understanding, more accepting, and more open when you do or do not love yourself?
Start loving. Start living. Start being who you’ve always wanted to be. Start looking in the mirror and see the lion inside of you.
“It takes a lifetime to achieve greatness, but it only takes one day to quit.”
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Video Clip: The Cure is U – Love
A clip from “The Cure is U” – Love (self love and its possibilities to heal)
Love is a feeling that doesn’t require another human at all. Love is a feeling that thee system – your biology – is taking whatever you’re looking at (your interpretation) and saying whatever that “thing” is, “that is so in harmony with me; that I will release the chemistry of harmony.” Love: What you’re feeling are the emotional chemicals that say, “what I am interpreting in this world around me is fully supportive and in harmony with the desires and wishes of my life.”
One of the most powerful tools – and not one that the mind would think of – is self love. Love is what is happening constantly. The question is to what degree am I allowing myself to participate in it. We’ve always associated feeling loved by being loved by something outside of ourselves, and when we do that we constantly set ourselves in a state of fear. “What happens if you stop loving me?” “What happens if I never find someone to love me?” “Well, no one ever did love me – parents didn’t love me, my family and siblings didn’t love me” – all kinds of absence of love has been existing. In the empowered state that you actually are – what do you think you were interested in when you came into this life and you landed in those kind of circumstance? You must have been interested in finding it in [the womb] and bringing it out in some way. When it wasn’t delivered or isn’t consistently delivered today, there’s a reason for that and when we begin embracing that perspective we being to access our empowerment.
If I am not extending love, I am projecting fear. It is as though we live in two parallel universes, and in a very real way you decide which universe you want to live in – the universe that is dominated by fear or the universe that is dominated by love. You choose the one dominated by love, your chances of physical healing are a whole lot increased.
So the more loving I can be with myself the more likely I am to access this heartspace, and it is in this heartspace that my intuitions, and my inspirations, and my gut feelings, and the wisdom that I have inherited from the ages come together. And in that heartspace is where we allow ourselves to access our unlimited power and our infinite possibility.
Question: Part 1: Self-Esteem Advice?
In recent months, I’ve realized how much self-hate I have been dealing with from a young age. As a result, I have little self-esteem and I was wondering if you had any advice?
Perspective:
First off, thank you for sharing this with me (and with those who are reading this). It takes courage to admit that you are unhappy with yourself, and it takes even more to express that unhappiness to others. So, please understand and appreciate how profound of a leap you are taking just by being aware of and open with yourself.
We all have troubled pasts and very often past experiences can still have an impact years or decades later in our lives. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this instance because there are no wrongs in life – there are only moments and our reactions to those moments. It is up to each of one of us to take our current situations into perspective by asking:
- Who am I?
- How do I define myself?
- Who do I want to be?
- Why do I want to be?
- Who was I?
- How did I get here?
- Why am I here?
- Where do I want to be?
All-too-often people will run away from their past or bury it deep within themselves because what they experienced at a younger age was traumatizing. With each day that pain is not addressed, it only amplifies the original experience that much more. Yet, there’s something more “comforting” about acquiring new pain than facing an old one because it gives us a sense of existence, attention, or feeling (whether we want to be noticed or unnoticed – our ego’s goal is to draw an outside awareness in our direction).
I believe that you are already on your way towards accepting your past so you can be fully present with your current self. Here are some more perspectives that may help…
Your past experiences were necessary for you to be who you are today
Each and every single experience is necessary for your path. For example, I would not be here providing you with my perspective if I did not experience my share of hardships and internal battles. They were not easy to experience at a young age, but I’ve come to realize that those experiences are part of who I am – they helped shape who I am today and who I desire to be tomorrow.
Address your self-esteem
Ask yourself why you have low self-esteem and try to trace that pattern back to its original source/your first (or several) experience(s). It may be hard because the mind has the ability to block out traumatizing experiences for the sake of survival, yet the journey back in time to find that hurt, inner child is possible (and often necessary).
Overcome your fears
Fear is an illusion that we build up within our thoughts. Children are scared of the dark because they believe that their imagination can become real… but what’s real, anyway? Our thoughts, emotions, and reactions create illusions of a [physical] reality. So, in essence, fear is not real.
Have patience
Time is only a factor when you make it one. Do not force yourself to grow, heal, or find freedom. Adopt “the law of least effort” in this case – a tight muscle cannot be forced to stretch to a ego-desired length otherwise it may pull, but a tight muscle that is allowed to elongate at its own pace through a minimal/slow-paced effort will always achieve progress.
Do not have expectations
Expectations are a self-made boundary system. We predict outcomes before they even occur through our own definitions of “right” and “wrong.” When those outcomes do not develop in our favor or are not “right,” then we experience a set back that can truly effect our well-being. Be open and detach yourself from every experience. That’s not to say you shouldn’t care or put forth an effort, but to not become too attached to a desired outcome in the case that it may not come true on your expectation’s watch.
Trust in yourself
Learn to trust in your efforts and trust that they will be met accordingly. Good will return good and bad will return bad – Karma!
Unconditionally accept yourself because you are who you are
You are an accumulation of your past and present self. You cannot change the past, you can only influence the present, and you can put trust in your future. Take one step at a time towards a path that you wish to travel. It will truly be the road less traveled, but understand that you have been destined from day one to travel that road – to experience and learn from those experiences solely for your gain.
Love yourself and love others
Thank you for your question!
