What really matters?

Happy Monday,

What really matters (in a non-pessimist, non-depressing manner, of course)?

Does a healthy diet matter? Does an unhealthy diet matter? Do calories matter? Does an exercise routine matter? Does being the best matter? Does being the smartest matter? Does being good-looking matter? Does being ugly matter? Does having a job matter? Does winning matter? Does losing matter? Do actions matter? Does the past matter? Does the future matter? Do definitions matter? Do comparisons matter? Do experiences matter? Do opinions matter?

I have to say that a lot of the bullshit we put ourselves through, good bullshit included, means nada, zip, zilch, absolutely nothing. And by bullshit, I simply mean thinking, thoughts, brain thingamajigs.

Our thoughts can easily predict our lives – how we perceive, believe, act, and react to our experiences/personal realities – if we let them. Who controls your thoughts? Y-o-u, you! What can influence your thoughts? Absolutely everything! Who’s gonna win today? We are! Beliefs, perceptions, expectations, assumptions, conditionings, religion, faith, family, friends, diet, hydration, digestion, sleep, physical exertion, physical environment, or that bird outside the window at 5am when you’re just trying to get some f-ing sleep, man! can all influence our thoughts, BUT you ultimately determine how you are affected by those influences and, thus, by your idea of what really matters. This shouldn’t be a new concept to anyone – it’s more of a nudge that says, “Wake up and smell the tunafish, kid.”

Don’t be a puppet. Don’t let your thoughts control you. Don’t write off your thoughts thinking that they’re real when you literally make them up. When we are a puppet of our thoughts by yielding an absolute zero awareness of how we think, why we think, where our thoughts come from, and of all the influential factors being throw at us on a daily basis, we can experience a (possibly never-ending) blindness to what really matters (and also some insight into who we truly are/what we’re all about). Seeing isn’t believing, my franz. Thinking is. You can conjure up anything of your choosing within that imagination of yours and then have it manifest in various ways, i.e. turning the non-physical into physical. I literally sat in my bed the other night and imagined a situation of “What would I do if I encountered a purse-snatcher while on a date.” I thought about the various scenarios where I ran after the thief and the possible outcomes, in my favor and not. With each passing scene, I managed to increase my heart rate more and more, and thus, I increased my blood pressure and my stress hormone response (adrenaline or cortisol) in correlation with my mentality. Shit was nuts, but, more importantly, it was a great perspective experiment into what is [not] actually real.

Diving a little further into this shindig, to hold anything in a state of importance (expectation, attachment, or perceived necessity) may rock the life-boat a bit in the sense that this alleged importance could also bring along a state of unease. Because what happens to that boat when we lose something important or are prevented from its access or even consider the thought of losing said importance? That boat will be swimmin’ with the fishes in no time. I am not saying that nothing in life should be important (or a priority), but what I am suggesting is that maybe some (by some I probably mean most) things aren’t so important after-all. The external foundations, ones outside of ourselves in which we rely upon, believe that we need, or reach outwardly to in times of confusion, are the main factors in this case. Externals will never be able to fill or replace your own two metaphorical feet.

Ok, enough jibber jabber. Let’s have some incorporating-perspectives-practice time: Write down a list of however many things you consider to be important, things that matter to you.

[10-minute recess...]

Chances are the volunteered participants of this great experiment will have an equal amount of similarities as they do differences. Self-love, trust, confidence, understanding, compassion, forgiveness, faith, family, or friends are some of my optimistic predictions for similarities while electronics, clothing, transportation and things-of-the-materialistic-like are my god-help-us-all predictions for differences.

Now, what you have written down (or contemplated)… do they really matter?

Although I am still in the process of learning their (hint: my) value and place, I like to think that I have a pretty good idea of what matters to me at this point in my life. After going through my-reality-of the ringer and being forced to step back to look at my life as a much bigger picture, I am certain that all of the bullshit I once considered to be important does not really matter like I had once thought.

I will leave you all with this… a thought that should raise some eyebrows in regard to my main point of this week’s jibberish: When you leave this miracle, this world, this physical existence… what can you bring with you?

If you’d like to discuss these perspective along with other health-related insights, please contact me for a FREE Conversation.

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Define: Addiction

  • Addiction is a form of control, but what leads to that control?
  • Addiction is a symptom to an underlying cause, so we must define our true pain that we are suppressing or escaping.
  • On the outside, addiction involves reflective escapes – food, drugs, alcohol, sex, anger, depression, exercise, etc.
  • Deep down, addiction involves an escape from self – self-shame, self-sabotage, a lack of self-responsibility, a lack of self-awareness, and, ultimately, a lack of self-love.
  • We can overcome addiction when we become aware of what we are escaping and take responsibility for our actions.
  • We can overcome addiction when we see the value in what releasing that addiction can bring.
  • We can overcome addiction when we stop running away from ourselves, others, and our self-made problems, boundaries, expectations, boarders, shames, pains, or walls.
  • Addiction is an external attempt to find internal love.

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The Secret to Life: How to Lose Weight, Gain Muscle, and Get Healthy Now!

The Secret to Life! How to Lose Weight, Gain Muscle, and Get Healthy now!

Here it is! The answer everyone is looking for: How to Get Healthy and Stay Healthy in three easy steps!

Sound too good to be true? It’s not!

No hype.
No bull.
No marketing campaign.
No diet or detox miracle.
You don’t have to take any pills.
You don’t have to take any drugs.
You don’t have to starve yourself for weeks.
You don’t have to go from one diet craze to the next.
You don’t have to drink protein shake after protein shake.
You don’t have to weigh your food or weigh yourself every day.
You don’t have to run miles upon miles and do sit up after sit up.

Want to know how the heck you can get healthy starting right now?

L. F. B.

  • Love yourself.
  • Forgive yourself.
  • Be happy with yourself.

L. F. B.

Why do we become sick in the first place?
Why do we become sad?
Why do we eat too much?
Why do we not eat enough?
Why do we go from diet to diet?
Why do we go from exercise to exercise?
Why do we burn the wick at both ends?
Why do we believe that a fit body means a healthy body?
Why, now more than ever, is the United States becoming so unhealthy despite all of the diets, studies, and supplements available that apparently promote health?
Why, no matter what we do, can we not seem to get healthy?

  • Health comes when we take responsibility for our lives, our choices, and how we experience life.
  • Health comes when we are aware of why we may be unhealthy.
  • Health comes when we understand what it means to be healthy by questioning everything and listening to hour body.
  • Health comes when we have respect for ourselves, our body, and the food that we choose to become part of our body – our life.
  • Health comes when we balance our life’s wants and needs.
  • Health comes when we let down our ego and open up our heart.
  • Health comes when we provide a healthy external environment to reflect our internal environment.
  • Health comes when we do not place unrealistic expectations upon ourselves, others, or our experiences.
  • Health comes when we forgive our past so we can be present in the now and work towards hour future.
  • Health comes when we stop self-sabotaging.
  • Health comes when we are not ashamed of who we are on the outside because we accept ourselves on the inside.
  • Health comes when we accept who we are, and how we came to be.
  • Health comes when we do not compare ourselves to others.
  • Health comes when we understand that we are doing our very best in every moment and that no moment is ever wrong nor a mistake.
  • Health comes when you Love yourself.
  • Health comes when you Forgive yourself.
  • Health comes when you Be happy with yourself.

L. F. B.

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Wants vs Needs: Happiness

What do you Want to be happy?

What do you Need to be happy?

Our Wants can only come from outside ourselves.

Our Needs can only come from within ourselves.

No one ever Needs a big house, an expensive car, chic clothing, etc. Sure, they’re nice to have, but are they truly fulfilling? Do you Need them to actually be happy or are they a result of a Want?

According to the 2009 HPI (Happy Planet Index), the United States was ranked 114 of 143 polled countries in terms of Subjective Life Satisfaction, Life Expectancy, and Ecological Footprint. Many countries that are smaller, less wealthy, and had less financial opportunities than the US had much higher rates of happiness! So where does that happiness stem from?

Happiness begins and ends with “i” – the i’s ability to fulfill i’s Needs.

Be happy with self. Be happy within self. Love self.

A happiness [and love] with and of others will develop naturally when self happiness exists. 

Consider this perspective for self and for others. We are all doing our best.

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What is Ego?

  • The Ego is the opposite of your real Self.
  • The Ego is not you.
  • The Ego is the deception created by the society so that you can go on playing with the toy and never ask about the real thing.
  • Unless you drop the Ego, you’ll never come to know your true Self.
  • When you were born you had your authentic Self then [society] started creating a false Self.
    • You are Christian. You are Catholic. You are white. You are black. You are German. You are Irish. You are the chosen race of God. You are supposed to rule over the world. 
  • [Society] creates a false idea of who you are – they give you a name and around the name they create ambitions, conditionings, and rules to bind by.
  • It takes 1/3 of your life working on your Ego – school.
  • By the time you come back from University you have forgotten your innocent being – you are now a very big Ego – “now, you are ready to go into the world” as if the world doesn’t being when we are born.
    • This Ego has all the desires and ambitions. It wants to always be on the top of everything. It never allows you even a glimpse of your real, authentic Self.
  • The Ego only produces misery, suffering, fighting, frustration, madness, martyrdom, crime, loneliness, running, pushing, confusion, misunderstanding, selfishness.
  • A seeker of truth has to begin from this very point – whatever you have been told by society must be discarded.
  • Nobody can know who you are except for yourself – not your parents, teachers, priests, friends, or loved ones.
  • Except for yourself, nobody can enter in the privacy of your Being.
  • Nobody knows about you – whatever is said is all wrong – put it aside.
  • Dismantle the Ego – in destroying the Ego you will discover your Being.
  • The discovery of your Being is the greatest discovery possible – it starts a totally new pilgrammage towards ultimate bliss, towards eternal life.
  • You can choose frustration, suffering, misery – go on holding the Ego, nursing it.
  • Choose silence and bliss, and recover your innocence.

[via]

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We Are All Doing Our Best

Our full potential is 100%, right?

We do our very best to give 100% of 100% of ourselves.

Sometimes we are only able to give 80%, 75%, or even 50% of 100% of ourselves.

Whether we give 80% or 50%, we are still giving our best effort of 80% or 50%.

We all have emotions, beliefs, obstacles, burdens, struggles, conflicts, past pains, judgements, and shames that have the ability to limit our potential.

Let’s say you and I are in the same class together. We have a test one morning that is graded immediately. After 10 minutes you hand in your test and get back a 100% of 100%. After 30 minutes I hand in my test and get back 30% of 100%. Naturally, we can conclude that you’re smarter than me based off of the grade and the time it took to complete… but is that really true based off of one (or even several repeated) experience(s)?

What if I didn’t eat a good breakfast that morning and that affected my blood sugar, mental clarity, and ability to retain information?

What if I wasn’t able to fully study because I had to take care of my little brother who has been sick for quite some time?

What if I was dealing with an internal emotional battle because my parents were going through a divorce?

What if I don’t care about school and constantly fail tests, but that is a manifestation of a sexual shame that I experienced when I was younger to believe I am not good enough in present day?

What if I knew all of the answers but chose to fail because it was more fulfilling to be perfectly “stupid” rather than being perfectly “smart”?

I may have failed the test, but I was giving my best – it may not have been my 100% best, but it was my best effort given my situation(s).

Do not judge, assume, or blame others for their faults (we do that enough to ourselves) – have faith, trust, and encourage others for their abilities.

Do not give people the benefit of the doubt – give people the benefit, the respect, and the empathy that they deserve.

Be kind. For everyone you meet if fighting a hard battle. - Plato

Osho’s 10 Commandments

“You have asked for my Ten Commandments. It’s a difficult matter, because I am gainst any kind of commandment. Yet, just for the fun of it, I write:”

  1. Never obey anyone’s command unless it is coming from within you also.
  2. There is no God other than life itself.
  3. Truth is within you, do not search for it elsewhere.
  4. Love is a prayer.
  5. To become a nothingness is the door to truth. Nothingness itself is the means, the goal and attainment.
  6. Life is now and here.
  7. Live wakefully.
  8. Do not swim – float.
  9. Die each moment so that you can be new each moment.
  10. Do not search. That which is, is. Stop and see.

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Mistakes

To commit a mistake is not wrong – commit as many mistakes as possible because that is the way you will be learning more. But don’t commit the same mistakes again and again, because that makes you stupid. 

-Osho

While Osho is a bit blunt in his words, they hold some truth. But let’s throw out the word stupid. Let’s throw out the negative connotation of [continuous] mistakes. Are not we all on our own path? Are not we all learning at our own pace? Who’s to say that a continuous mistake is wrong when we learn the right in the end? In hindsight we can see where our path took a wrong turn, but can we argue that turn was necessary regardless of its time or the time it took to understand?

A perspective shift is in order for the word mistake and the action of making a mistake.

Why are mistakes considered wrong?
Why can’t we see within the moment that “wrongs” can actually turn into a future “right”?

Those very mistakes that we perceive to yield [temporary] failure can lead us to [eternal] success.

Everything that occurs is a culmination of perfection.
There are no wrongs. There are no mistakes.

With that mentality you don’t have to make a mistake ever again.
With that mentality you can only experience success.

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Bryon Katie’s 5 Questions of Inquiry

Identify if your thoughts are worth your time and energy

  1. Is it true?
  2. Is it absolutely true?
  3. How do you feel when you think that thought?
  4. How do you feel when you don’t think that thought?
  5. Can you turn it around?

It is easy to get wrapped up in a thought.
It is easy to believe a thought to be the truth when it is only seen from one side of that truth.
We must allow ourselves to open up and see the big picture in every situation.
We must allow ourselves to open up and see the big picture in every thought.
We must understand the great power of thought and to not let it overpower us.
We must take control of our thoughts by taking perspective of them.

“By changing the mind, you can completely change the experience.”

Define: Experience

  • An Experience is a moment of one’s reality
  • An Experience is purely individualized
  • No two people Experience the same reality
  • No two people equally define an Experience or a reality
  • Reality is an independent perspective of our Experiences – non-physical – past and present
  • A non-physical Experience is our true reality
  • We Experience reality solely through our thoughts, feelings, emotions, and beliefs
  • One cannot “have” an Experience without the Experience of the mind
  • A physical reality is a manifested Experience of the non-physical self
  • A physical reality is not actually a “real” – it is only Experienced by our non-physical self
  • We have the power to choose how an Experience influences or defines our reality
  • We can choose if an Experience is good or bad, right or wrong, positive or negative
  • We can choose if an Experience makes us happy or makes us sad
  • The same moment will be Experienced differently by two (or more) people
  • It is important to understand that your Experience will be different than someone else’s Experience
  • It is important to understand that your Experience of me is different than my Experience of myself
  • Our present Experiences are a reflection of our past Experiences
  • It is impossible to recreate a past Experience – it can be a reflection of, yet entirely new
  • We can choose to repeat past Experiences or to learn from past Experiences (good or bad)
  • Experiences are necessary and an integral part of life

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