Tag Archives: ego

Heeding your own advice

Posted on by
1

It’s so much easier to give advice than to follow it, amirite? So, why does it happen? Why are we good givers and sub-par receivers? Why are we able to see other’s trials with perspective and fail to see our own in the same light?

A fish doesn’t know it’s wet.

The first time I heard this quote was at the CHEK HLC 1 course in October 2011. It struck me and stuck with me. I find myself referencing the quote at least once a week – if I’m not experiencing and taking perspective on it, I am repeating it to myself.

The problem lies within our self-awareness… or the lack thereof. We become blinded by beliefs, emotions, habits, reactions, assumptions, judgments, or expectations – by our Ego, which serves to protect (sometimes it’s a bit overprotective). We fail to see our situation because when we experience a trial we tend to fall back into what got us there in the first place. To paraphrase Einstein, “a problem cannot be solve with the same level of thinking (or awareness) in which it was created.”

How do we gain perspective and attain awareness to start heeding our own advice? Well, there are a few ways…

  • Find yourself. Define yourself. Discover who you are and how you came to be. Write down all aspects of your personality, your beliefs, your perceptions, your actions, your reactions, your habits, your likes, your dislikes… and why.
  • Be present with your thoughts, beliefs, actions, reactions, and words. Understand consequences by defining the positive or negative energy action that created the reaction (Karma, what goes around comes around, what you give is what you get).
  • When you act or react ask yourself why it occurred… the cause to the symptom.
  • Remove or detach self from the situation, experience, or outcome. Become self-less. See the situation for what it is, not how you perceive, assume, expect, or want it to be.

jdperryhealth.com
jdperryhealth.tumblr.com
jdperryhealth@gmail.com

Comparing self to others

Posted on by
1

Do we benefit or lose when we compare ourselves to others? Is it good to compare to get a better sense of self or does that act simply push us further away from self [and others]?

  • We compare what we are not… I’m not strong enough. I’m not smart enough. I’m not pretty enough. I’m not skinny enough. 
  • We compare what we don’t have… I don’t have a car. I don’t have an outlet. I don’t have a good job. I don’t have a significant other. I don’t have friends. I don’t have energy. 
  • We compare where we are not… I’m not as successful as my peers. I don’t have a place of my own. I am not where I predicted I’d be at this point in my life.
  • We compare our present to our past… Life was easier. I was healthier. I could run for miles. I could eat anything and not gain a pound. I was happier. Growing up sucks.

Any type of comparison is negative – it builds, defends, or hurts the Ego. You are not your Ego… the Ego is a part of you and it’s good to know when you are calling the shots and when your Ego takes charge. The Ego is a culmination of expectations, assumptions, judgements, predictions, and shameful events of the past. The Ego can protect us, but it can also blind us. Even those comparisons where we label ourselves above self and others – I am stronger, I am smarter, I am healthier, I am prettier – are all ego-boosting judgements and don’t really help anything in the long run. To think that you are better than someone else or better than your past self pushes you further away from a true reality – we are all equals and you are equal to your past self because it is a part of who you are, not who you aren’t.

  • Are you able to accept yourself the way that you are? If not, why?
  • Are you able to not judge, not assume, not expect, not predict, and not shame self or others? If not, why? Can you take note of when you do and why that occurs?
  • Are you able to be happy regardless of who, where, or what you are? If not, why?
  • How do you define happy? What makes you unhappy? What isn’t enough? What are you lacking? What are you comparing? Why are you comparing?

It’s good to take perspective on yourself and others. It’s good to know who, what, and where you are not, but that should not define who you are. We all grow, evolve, and mature at different rates, times, and ages. Don’t let your Ego prevent you or your perspective of others from being.

jdperryhealth.com
jdperryhealth.tumblr.com
jdperryhealth@gmail.com

The Gym: We’ve got a first timer over here!

Posted on by
1

So, I took the plunge and signed myself up for a membership at LA Fitness. I was never really a gym guy because I enjoyed the challenge of MacGuyver-ing a work out where ever, whenever, with whomever and with whatever (as I’ve done plenty of times throughout my travels and home-stays). But, for my current goals, I want a few more resources at my disposal. After two days, here’s what I have observed…

  • A PERSONAL Trainer training clients while on a cell phone throughout the duration of the paid service. How very IMpersonal trainer of him.
  • The same Personal Trainer not even paying attention (looking, observing, or critiquing) to a different client doing walking lunges. What about their form? What if they are doing them incorrectly and slowly setting themselves up for an improper muscle recruitment pattern? What if they are not completely a full range of motion and are doing half reps which can incorporate less of the desired target area. The body will adapt to a situation – whether right or wrong – and it can learn how NOT to lunge (using the wrong muscles to move) if incorrect form is consistently used. 
  • Rows upon rows of exercise machines, which seem to consistently be occupied throughout the duration of my recent off-peak-hour visits. I can maaaaybe see the point of exercise machines in a rehabilitation situation to ease into muscle and nerve recruitment, but, in reality, these machines teach the body how NOT to stabilize, support itself, move, bend, twist, flex, rotate, extend, adduct, or abduct. Oh, you can do an assisted sit-up? Let me know how that goes when you’re trying to SIT-UP out of bed without a machine helping you. Sincerely, Condescending Wonka.
  • More rows – this time of treadmills, stair-masters, and ellipticals – all equipped with televisions, radios, and iPod charging capabilities, and also consistently occupied. I’m all for running (believe it or not). I’m all for getting up off your ass, moving, and creating a healthy blood flow – I just think there are better means, methods, and environments to do so. It’s a big world out there…
  • Five flat benches… FIVE. Hey, uhhhhhhh, how much ya bench? The last time I checked the bench press was the most bass-ackwards measurement of strength. It’s a pure isolation exercise of the lower and middle pectorals (chest), the front deltoids (shoulders), and the triceps. Five. The body is a system of systems – it prefers to work in unison and not isolation.
  • I overheard a gentleman in a cut-off shirt shout across the weight room so all brethren could hear, “I guess all of those shots in the ass are finally paying off.” He was referring that the amount of steroids he injected into his butt are making his balls shrink, his eyes sunken in with rage, and his muscles more cut than a turkey sandwich. I have no words.
  • I experienced a tall, muscular gentleman bench press near where I was exercising. I stood close by without his awareness incase he needed a spot for a possible weight he could not manage. He did some warm up sets at 145 pounds with ease. He jumped to 195 – Ok, he put up a decent amount of reps. Lastly, he attempted 215 pounds. More power to him, but he could not lower the bar to his chest to complete a “full rep” and the bar was lop-sided the whole time (favoring his stronger arm and not so much the other). Wants vs Needs. Ego vs Logic. Sprint vs Marathon. 
  • A couple were exercising together. The male seemed a bit more experienced based on his build and lingo while the woman looked equally experienced, but their conversation enlightened me that she was not well-versed in anything weight-related (I’m assumed she was a runner and was giving the gym a try out of persuasion). They were doing squats nearby off a rack. He was going on about how squats were a full-body exercise, that they burn a great amount of calories due to the multiple muscle recruitment, and (he was excited to say this part) that it would “torch that fat right off your butt!” I raised an eyebrow at this mindset. It made me wonder if they correlate exercise and high energy output directly (and possibly only) to fat burning. While this concept can hold true in the appropriate circumstances, it is certainly not the whole piece to the fat-burning puzzle. I wonder because I’ve come across a lot of people that believe in the concept that “to burn fat or lose weight, high-calorie-burning-exercising (or durations) are absolutely necessary.” I don’t fully believe in that mentality as there is a time and place for exercise in relation to fat-loss, but it seems to have become a health-staple-mindset. #Fwomp

Personal observations, assumptions, and over-analyzations aside…

Why?

jdperryhealth.com
jdperryhealth.tumblr.com
jdperryhealth@gmail.com

The best advice ever given to me

Posted on by
2

You’ll figure it out, J.

I’ve heard this perspective plenty of times throughout the past 8 years of my life. While I was not always welcoming of this advice, I knew that these words were genuine and that they held a universal truth. You’ll figure it out was a reminder that no matter what I was going through at any given point in my life – trials, errors, hardships, pains, shames, blames, ups, downs, or confusions – that I will eventually figure it out.

The last time I heard these words from my friend was on August 2nd, 2011. I didn’t know that would truly be the last time I heard them from his mouth and with his genuine delivery because two months later my friend passed away in an accident. While I wish I still had him a phone call or a hang out away to ask for his advice through my ups and downs, I already know what he would tell me: You’ll figure it out, J.

No matter what happens – good or bad, right or wrong, healthy or sick, happy or sad, loved or unloved, accepted or un-accepted, understood or misunderstood, strong or weak, bulls-eye or complete miss – I’ll always figure it out. It may not happen in the most ideal time frame or in the most ideal experience or on the most ideal terms… but I’ll figure it out. I always have and I always will.

I have used this advice over the years to get me through the hardest of hard and the easiest of ease. Currently, this is where I’m at…

  • Love and accept myself and others
  • Forgive myself and others
  • Be happy with myself and others
  • Give myself and others the benefit – never the doubt
  • Have faith in myself and others
  • Have an open and honest heart with myself and others
  • Listen to my mind, heart, and body – they always know best
  • Have perspective when my Ego is calling the shots
  • Find a balance of Wants vs Needs
  • Do not judge, assume, or shame my battles or other’s battles
  • Do not place unrealistic expectations on myself or others
  • Do not provide myself with unnecessary boundaries or limitations
  • Surround myself with caring people who unconditionally support and understand me, and to not waste my efforts on those don’t
  • Take everything and everyone that I experience into perspective
  • Learn from everything – even if I don’t learn right away
  • Appreciate every single experience that I go through – good or bad
  • Be kind and easy on myself and others
  • I am always doing my best – that’s all I can ask of myself and others
  • Communication is the foundation of a good relationship with self and with others
  • Take responsibility for my actions and reactions
  • Never run away because it’ll only create more problems in the end
  • Fear is an illusion – I create all of my fears and fears create all of my dis-eases
  • Trust that what I give will be received in return
  • Try not to take myself so seriously
  • Have fun!
  • At the end of the day… I’ll figure it out

I share this story because I have faith that we all will figure it out. Some may figure it out quicker than others. Some may figure it out and have it fall through their hands only to figure it out again. Some may figure it out longer than others. Some may think they figured it out only to realize they have a lot more figuring out to do. Some may figure it out in different ways than others. Some may not think they need to figure it out only to experience quite the figure-it-out-wake-up-call. In the end, we all figure it out.

jdperryhealth.com
jdperryhealth.tumblr.com
jdperryhealth@gmail.com

Don’t ever say that you can’t

Posted on by
1

via

Can’t is temporary.

I’ve fallen victim to “can’t.” I’m sure we all have at some point. It’s hard to see the big picture when we limit ourselves to what was or what isn’t.

We must focus on what we can do as necessary steps towards what we truly desire. The man in the above video could not walk unassisted, he could not touch his feet, he could not fit into smaller clothes, he could not be happy with himself, he self-sabotaged with food and believed his limits were factual. His perspective shift didn’t happen over night, but he found a way to inspire and love himself through the inspiration and love of others. He focused on what he could do (or was capable of) in the present moment. He took small steps to better himself and to be happy with himself. He didn’t give himself a time limit. He didn’t place unrealistic expectations. I’m sure he experienced set backs and frustrations, but he focused on the big picture and not what he was temporarily experiencing.

Do not doubt yourself or others. Always give the benefit.

Believe and have faith in yourself. Believe and have faith in others.

We can truly do anything.

jdperryhealth.com
jdperryhealth.tumblr.com
jdperryhealth@gmail.com

Define: Addiction

Posted on by
1
  • Addiction is a form of control, but what leads to that control?
  • Addiction is a symptom to an underlying cause, so we must define our true pain that we are suppressing or escaping.
  • On the outside, addiction involves reflective escapes – food, drugs, alcohol, sex, anger, depression, exercise, etc.
  • Deep down, addiction involves an escape from self – self-shame, self-sabotage, a lack of self-responsibility, a lack of self-awareness, and, ultimately, a lack of self-love.
  • We can overcome addiction when we become aware of what we are escaping and take responsibility for our actions.
  • We can overcome addiction when we see the value in what releasing that addiction can bring.
  • We can overcome addiction when we stop running away from ourselves, others, and our self-made problems, boundaries, expectations, boarders, shames, pains, or walls.
  • Addiction is an external attempt to find internal love.

jdperryhealth.com
jdperryhealth.tumblr.com
jdperryhealth@gmail.com

What is Ego?

Posted on by
Reply
  • The Ego is the opposite of your real Self.
  • The Ego is not you.
  • The Ego is the deception created by the society so that you can go on playing with the toy and never ask about the real thing.
  • Unless you drop the Ego, you’ll never come to know your true Self.
  • When you were born you had your authentic Self then [society] started creating a false Self.
    • You are Christian. You are Catholic. You are white. You are black. You are German. You are Irish. You are the chosen race of God. You are supposed to rule over the world. 
  • [Society] creates a false idea of who you are – they give you a name and around the name they create ambitions, conditionings, and rules to bind by.
  • It takes 1/3 of your life working on your Ego – school.
  • By the time you come back from University you have forgotten your innocent being – you are now a very big Ego – “now, you are ready to go into the world” as if the world doesn’t being when we are born.
    • This Ego has all the desires and ambitions. It wants to always be on the top of everything. It never allows you even a glimpse of your real, authentic Self.
  • The Ego only produces misery, suffering, fighting, frustration, madness, martyrdom, crime, loneliness, running, pushing, confusion, misunderstanding, selfishness.
  • A seeker of truth has to begin from this very point – whatever you have been told by society must be discarded.
  • Nobody can know who you are except for yourself – not your parents, teachers, priests, friends, or loved ones.
  • Except for yourself, nobody can enter in the privacy of your Being.
  • Nobody knows about you – whatever is said is all wrong – put it aside.
  • Dismantle the Ego – in destroying the Ego you will discover your Being.
  • The discovery of your Being is the greatest discovery possible – it starts a totally new pilgrammage towards ultimate bliss, towards eternal life.
  • You can choose frustration, suffering, misery – go on holding the Ego, nursing it.
  • Choose silence and bliss, and recover your innocence.

[via]

jdperryhealth.com
jdperryhealth.tumblr.com
jdperryhealth@gmail.com

Question: Communication?

Posted on by
Reply

I received this question tonight (Thursday, the 26th) and since it seems like a time-is-of-the-essence situation, I decided to push back my other queued posts and give this Friday’s spotlight…

What would you do if you had a very irresponsible, self-centered roommate? One that does not take his/her part in chores and cleaning. It is almost the end of the semester and we have not spoken for quite a long time now, mostly because of this behavior. Is it too late to say something? I know I should’ve said something earlier, but you know, life happens and now we’re getting ready to leave.

Perspective:

Irresponsibility or self-ceneteredness are merely symptoms of a bigger cause… and those are only your experiences of your roommate – not the definition of your roommate. It is unfair of you to label your roommate just based on your experience of him/her without knowing his/her true self or personal battles. Yes, it is also unfair to you if they are being selfish and do not contribute to the understood equal partnership of living together, but consider that he/she may have a very good personal reason as to why they only seem to care about themselves, why they are introverted, or why they have placed barriers between themselves and the world around them.

What’s the true issue here?

Communication… or a lack thereof.

Communication is an important part of any relationship.

Communication can provide a continuous exchange of ideas, thoughts, feelings, emotions, wants, and needs – that exchange is positive. You will not always agree with one another, but the experience of talking will encourage you to understand one another and move forward to better the relationship.

Silence can encourage barriers, [unrealistic] expectations, assumptions, judgements, and can bring a negative energy to a relationship (or even a room).

You are experiencing a misunderstanding and the best way to understand one another is to talk. I don’t necessarily mean to talk about it, but to just… talk.

The chores are a symptom of a bigger cause of not talking to one another or misunderstanding one another.

  • Lead by example.
  • Create small talk.
  • Show him/her your trust, your openness, your friendliness, your forgiveness, and your acceptance by merely taking an interest in their life, sharing experiences of your own life, and encouraging them to be a part of yours.
  • Be friendly, not over-bearing.
  • Be patient, not pushy.
  • Be open, not expecting.
  • Trust that what you give you will receive in return.
  • Walls will never exist in a relationship if no one has a reason to build them.

After some time, if your roommate does not want to communicate nor involve themselves in genuine, open conversation then I would suggest that you move on with your efforts. It may be hard, but it’ll be for the best. Everyone is traveling along on their own path and on their own time doing the best that they can, and sometimes we just have to leave people to be and do things their way. We can only hope that those who are lost amongst their inner battles will come around to find themselves one day.

All that you can ask of yourself is that you do your best and that you are genuine.

jdperryhealth.com
jdperryhealth.tumblr.com
jdperryhealth@gmail.com

Judgements

Posted on by
Reply

A judgement is an experience of oneself. When I judge someone’s looks, I am really judging my own looks in comparison (if I’m better, equal, or worse as I define those judgement platforms). Judgements will always be an inner battle of Needs (Intuition) Vs. Wants (Ego), but it can become an outward battle when we physically act upon those judgements (when they are projected upon ourselves or upon others).

When we judge ourselves in mind (thought, emotion), we influence ourselves in body (physical reality). It is important to be aware of our judgements because they can hold consequences, both good and bad. However, it is easy to get stuck within our judgements and hold ourselves in a spot where we feel as though we cannot get out (or cannot see a need to get out no matter how much our peers may encourage that path). The problem with this situation is that we feel more comfortable being stuck than being free (comfort in chaos) - this would require us to face a hidden pain that brought on these judgements of ourselves in the first place.

Can you reach deep within [your past self] and find the hurt child or teenager that has caused you to judge yourself and others?

Judgements are necessary to help us take a wider perspective, to grow, and, ultimately, to learn about ourselves. When you have an opinion about something, whether inward or outward, ask “Why do I have that opinion?” Is that thought an unbiased opinion or a biased judgement? Who is speaking? Your Intuition or your Ego?

Your Intuition - Full awareness of your actions and their consequences, ever-present in the moment, and a complete acceptance of self. Intuition encourages the choice of what is Needed to achieve peace in the present by trusting in the future. Needs are often based on all experiences of the past (good or bad), an ability to be present/conscious within the moment, and a faith/understanding that one cannot control the future (only their present actions and reactions can encourage a future of their desires).

Your Ego - Unawareness of your actions and their consequences, imprisonment in the past, and an un-acceptance of self. Ego encourages the choice of what is Wanted to achieve an illusion of peace from moment-to-moment. Wants are often based on past negative experiences, an inability to be present/conscious within the moment, and a lack of faith that the future will work in one’s favor (because of a stuck past).

The next time you judge someone about their looks, their weight, their body, their diet, their mannerisms, their personality, their family, their friends, their past, their present, their future, their attitude, their self-destruction, their accomplishments, their drive, their talents, their inabilities, and your own experiences of them…

Consider what judgements others may have of themselves that influence their thoughts & emotions, their mentality, and their physicality (just as you do of yourself).

Nobody’s perfect, and we need to be aware and accepting of that fact.

 

jdperryhealth.com

jdperryhealth.tumblr.com

jdperryhealth@gmail.com