Tag Archives: emotion

Unhealthy symptoms and causes

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Originally, I started this post geared towards headache-prevention and my thoughts as to what could be its various causes. For some reason I always get the headache question from my friends – hey, I’ve had a headache all day and I don’t know why so I figured to ask you - and most of the time it just requires a small effort on their end to reflect, gain perspective, and put the pieces together themselves. Headaches (amongst other dis-eases) are always the symptom to a greater cause: they just don’t happen, there’s a reason why they occur and it’s good to pay attention because your body is trying to tell you something important. So, as I got more involved with writing I realized that my perspectives and suggestions are really geared towards all types of “symptoms” – headaches, stomach aches, sleeplessness, restless leg, fatigue, swelling, muscle spasms, constipation, weight gain, muscle loss, dizziness, fainting, brain fog, forgetfulness, etc. – and that a universal post would make more sense.

Of course, it’s better to take the steps to prevent symptoms before they occur (awareness, priorities, responsibility), but sometimes it takes the experience of discomfort to help put comfort into perspective and how it can be achieved. Below are a few simple thoughts as to what could be causing various “dis-eases”…

  • Hydration is usually my first thought: What/how much have you had to drink today/in the past few days? Were you dehydrated a few days ago and never caught up? How frequently do you urinate? What color was your urine? Dark yellow urine = dehydrated. Clear urine = over-hydration. Light yellow = hydrated. Do you consume Salt regularly or do you limit its intake? Dietary Salt can provide potassium and magnesium; all three are big factors in hydration and cellular function (add salt to drinks or food). Epsom Salt baths can also provide hydration through skin absorption (just make sure they’re not overwhelmingly hot and long because that situation can create a stress hormone reaction, encourage hypoglycemia and use up all stored sugar = light headed, dizzy, faintness, shaky hands, muscle atrophy, cortisol/adrenaline rush).
  • Nutrition is next: What/how much have you eaten today or in the past few days? Are you eating proper meals or just picking on things? I come across many people who don’t eat breakfast or will “forget” to eat dinner the previous night or may go a whole day without eating because they were “busy.” My thought: What fuel does the body to be busy, to operate, to expend and create energy? Food! Make time or get into the habit of putting it on your daily schedule. Yeah, it’s important to eat the right food, in the right ratio and at the right time but for energy’s sake just make sure that you’re providing yourself with some calories.
  • Sleep: How much have you slept in the past few days? Did you experience a restful night’s sleep or was it tossing, turning, and waking up intermittently? Ok, so sleeping is one thing, sleeping enough is another, sleeping at the right times is next, and sleeping well ties it all together. Hydration and nutrition affect sleeping patterns, too: dehydration or malnourishment (not enough caloric energy) can disrupt sleeping patterns because the body also needs energy to rest effectively. I’d like to see people take sleep more seriously and not just write it off as a lazy-man’s game.
  • Exercise: How much and how often do you exercise? Are you overtraining? Are you staying hydrated, nourished, and sleep enough (all energy input) to compliment your energy output? Exercise is a major stressor on the body – it breaks down muscle and depletes energy. Without a complimentary diet and lifestyle, exercise can be an extremely hindering activity in achieving health. 
  • Digestion: Are your bowel movements like clockwork? Do you go regularly (1-3x daily) and eliminate fully? Are they healthy BM’s? Do you experience bloating, gas, fatigue, or mood swings after eating certain foods? It is important to eat right. It is even more important that you are able to digest, utilize, and eliminate food properly. What good does food do if the body cannot even absorb it or if it becomes “stuck” within the intestinal tract? You are what you eat. You are what you digest and absorb. You are what you don’t eliminate. 
  • Posture: Do you sit up straight? Do you look down when you walk? Are you shoulders rounded? Is your spine straight? Does your neck align with your back to align with your pelvis? Do you wear restricting clothing that doesn’t allow for proper movement or circulation? Posture is important for all bodily functions: breathing, thinking, drinking, eating, digestion, eliminating, moving, and sleeping. Any sort of imbalance or “kink” can throw one or more things off and can cause the body to find other round-about ways to function.
  • Mental/Emotional Stressors: What’s on your mind lately? Do you have work, school, family, social, relationship, or self-image on your mind? Are you happy? The mind-body connection is real and it’s an important factor. Non-physical stress can very well lead to physical dis-ease.

So, those are some of my thoughts without going too in depth or in great detail as to what may be the “simple” causes to many of life’s unhealthy symptoms. Bring some awareness into your thoughts simply by taking perspective and reflecting on the symptoms to find the underlying cause. We all know why our body may be out of balance, in pain, tired, aching, or sore. It is a matter of looking within to find the answer from self.

The answer is within the question.

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Live and let die

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“If this ever changing world in which we live in makes you give and cry, say live and let die.” (Paul McCartney)

Live.

Take it in. Experience it. Feel it. Understand it. Show it appreciation. Learn from it.

And let it die.

Let go of the past to live the present. Move onto the next experience in life on your own time, on your own terms, at your own pace, at your level of understanding. Use every experience to better experience the next. Constantly grow and evolve into the person you want to be.

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Comparing self to others

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Do we benefit or lose when we compare ourselves to others? Is it good to compare to get a better sense of self or does that act simply push us further away from self [and others]?

  • We compare what we are not… I’m not strong enough. I’m not smart enough. I’m not pretty enough. I’m not skinny enough. 
  • We compare what we don’t have… I don’t have a car. I don’t have an outlet. I don’t have a good job. I don’t have a significant other. I don’t have friends. I don’t have energy. 
  • We compare where we are not… I’m not as successful as my peers. I don’t have a place of my own. I am not where I predicted I’d be at this point in my life.
  • We compare our present to our past… Life was easier. I was healthier. I could run for miles. I could eat anything and not gain a pound. I was happier. Growing up sucks.

Any type of comparison is negative – it builds, defends, or hurts the Ego. You are not your Ego… the Ego is a part of you and it’s good to know when you are calling the shots and when your Ego takes charge. The Ego is a culmination of expectations, assumptions, judgements, predictions, and shameful events of the past. The Ego can protect us, but it can also blind us. Even those comparisons where we label ourselves above self and others – I am stronger, I am smarter, I am healthier, I am prettier – are all ego-boosting judgements and don’t really help anything in the long run. To think that you are better than someone else or better than your past self pushes you further away from a true reality – we are all equals and you are equal to your past self because it is a part of who you are, not who you aren’t.

  • Are you able to accept yourself the way that you are? If not, why?
  • Are you able to not judge, not assume, not expect, not predict, and not shame self or others? If not, why? Can you take note of when you do and why that occurs?
  • Are you able to be happy regardless of who, where, or what you are? If not, why?
  • How do you define happy? What makes you unhappy? What isn’t enough? What are you lacking? What are you comparing? Why are you comparing?

It’s good to take perspective on yourself and others. It’s good to know who, what, and where you are not, but that should not define who you are. We all grow, evolve, and mature at different rates, times, and ages. Don’t let your Ego prevent you or your perspective of others from being.

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We assume that what we see is what is real

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To try to change outward attitudes and behaviors does very little good in the long run if we fail to examine the basic paradigms from which those attitudes and behaviors flow. (p28)

Suppose you wanted to arrive at a specific location in central Chicago. A street map of the city would be a great help to you in reaching your destination. But suppose you were given the wrong map. Through a printing error, the map labeled “Chicago” was actually a map of Detroit. Can you imagine the frustration, the ineffectiveness of trying to reach your destination?

You might work on your behavior – you could try harder, be more diligent, double your speed. But your efforts would only succeed in getting you to the wrong place faster.

You might work on your attitude – you could think more positively. You still wouldn’t get to the right place, but perhaps you wouldn’t care. Your attitude would be so positive, you’d be happy where ever you were.

The point is, you’d still be lost. The fundamental problem has nothing to do with your behavior or your attitude. It has everything to do with having a wrong map.

If you have the right map of Chicago, then diligence becomes important, and when you encounter frustrating obstacles along the way, then attitude can make a real difference. But the first and most important requirement is the accuracy of a map.

Each of us has many, many maps in our head, which can be divided into two main categories: maps of the way things are, or realities, and maps of the way things should be, or values. We interpret everything we experience through these mental maps. We seldom question their accuracy; we’re usually even unaware that we have them. We simply assume that the way we see things is the way they really are or the way they should be. 

And our attitudes and behaviors grow out of those assumptions. The way we see things in the source of the way we think and the way we act. (p 23, 24)

Excerpts from Steven R. Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

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The Secret to Life: How to Lose Weight, Gain Muscle, and Get Healthy Now!

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The Secret to Life! How to Lose Weight, Gain Muscle, and Get Healthy now!

Here it is! The answer everyone is looking for: How to Get Healthy and Stay Healthy in three easy steps!

Sound too good to be true? It’s not!

No hype.
No bull.
No marketing campaign.
No diet or detox miracle.
You don’t have to take any pills.
You don’t have to take any drugs.
You don’t have to starve yourself for weeks.
You don’t have to go from one diet craze to the next.
You don’t have to drink protein shake after protein shake.
You don’t have to weigh your food or weigh yourself every day.
You don’t have to run miles upon miles and do sit up after sit up.

Want to know how the heck you can get healthy starting right now?

L. F. B.

  • Love yourself.
  • Forgive yourself.
  • Be happy with yourself.

L. F. B.

Why do we become sick in the first place?
Why do we become sad?
Why do we eat too much?
Why do we not eat enough?
Why do we go from diet to diet?
Why do we go from exercise to exercise?
Why do we burn the wick at both ends?
Why do we believe that a fit body means a healthy body?
Why, now more than ever, is the United States becoming so unhealthy despite all of the diets, studies, and supplements available that apparently promote health?
Why, no matter what we do, can we not seem to get healthy?

  • Health comes when we take responsibility for our lives, our choices, and how we experience life.
  • Health comes when we are aware of why we may be unhealthy.
  • Health comes when we understand what it means to be healthy by questioning everything and listening to hour body.
  • Health comes when we have respect for ourselves, our body, and the food that we choose to become part of our body – our life.
  • Health comes when we balance our life’s wants and needs.
  • Health comes when we let down our ego and open up our heart.
  • Health comes when we provide a healthy external environment to reflect our internal environment.
  • Health comes when we do not place unrealistic expectations upon ourselves, others, or our experiences.
  • Health comes when we forgive our past so we can be present in the now and work towards hour future.
  • Health comes when we stop self-sabotaging.
  • Health comes when we are not ashamed of who we are on the outside because we accept ourselves on the inside.
  • Health comes when we accept who we are, and how we came to be.
  • Health comes when we do not compare ourselves to others.
  • Health comes when we understand that we are doing our very best in every moment and that no moment is ever wrong nor a mistake.
  • Health comes when you Love yourself.
  • Health comes when you Forgive yourself.
  • Health comes when you Be happy with yourself.

L. F. B.

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Wants vs Needs: Happiness

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What do you Want to be happy?

What do you Need to be happy?

Our Wants can only come from outside ourselves.

Our Needs can only come from within ourselves.

No one ever Needs a big house, an expensive car, chic clothing, etc. Sure, they’re nice to have, but are they truly fulfilling? Do you Need them to actually be happy or are they a result of a Want?

According to the 2009 HPI (Happy Planet Index), the United States was ranked 114 of 143 polled countries in terms of Subjective Life Satisfaction, Life Expectancy, and Ecological Footprint. Many countries that are smaller, less wealthy, and had less financial opportunities than the US had much higher rates of happiness! So where does that happiness stem from?

Happiness begins and ends with “i” – the i’s ability to fulfill i’s Needs.

Be happy with self. Be happy within self. Love self.

A happiness [and love] with and of others will develop naturally when self happiness exists. 

Consider this perspective for self and for others. We are all doing our best.

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Question: Healing the past and regrets?

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Do you have any advice for moving past something you regret? This situation is so stupid, but despite knowing for years that I can do nothing to change it, I still fret over it.

Perspective:

No situation is ever “stupid” (“wrong” or a “mistake”). That is your judgment and opinion of yourself – be kind! It’s easy to get caught up in self-shame because it makes the “pain” seem less bearable (“I’ll put myself down so no one else will”), but you are only creating more pain in the end. It’s Ok – this is a part of the learning, growing, and healing process.

Whatever the situation or moment in the past, at that time you did the very best that you could and it was exactly what you “wanted.” Obviously, you have grown emotionally and mentally since that occurrence and now you have the perspective, “if I could do it over again, I’d do it better.” What’s wrong with that? I think it is better to realize that you could have done things differently rather than being completely unaware of how you came to be. Appreciate self for reflecting on the past and understanding that you have grown. It’s not easy to revisit regrets, but it is a step towards self-awareness and self-discovery.

If the situation involved others, consider that they, too, did the very best that they could and may have a different way of acting/reacting to an experience. Your experience of yourself is unique, your experience of someone else is unique, their experience of themselves is unique, and their experience of you is unique. It’s easy to get caught up in right and wrong when everyone has a different definition of those two ego-driven words. Also, just as you had certain reasons for your actions/reactions, so did that other person…

  • Appreciate them for being a part of your experience.
  • Appreciate them for providing an opportunity for self-growth and self-awareness.
  • Appreciate them for sharing a moment in your life.

Take responsibility for your past self and your past experiences. You can only “blame” yourself. Yes, another person may have had an influence on your situation, but you are the only one who determines how you react/act to an experience. By taking responsibility for your past you can allow an acceptance, a forgiveness, and an understanding of who you are today.

Take time to understand and forgive the situation – then and now. The longer the situation goes unaddressed (is run away from), the longer it will be a factor (influence present day). That’s not to say dwell on it, but it is important to take time, emotion, and effort to reflect on the past so you can move on in the present.

Write down your experience of the situation. Our thoughts and emotions are real, but it may help to make them physically real by putting a pen to paper…

  • What happened?
  • When did it happen?
  • How did I feel before it happened?
  • How did I feel when it happened?
  • How did I feel after it happened?
  • Why do I think it happened?
  • Why did I react or act the way that I did?
  • Was this situation a symptom/result of a larger personal issue/cause?
  • What is the root cause/issue of my reaction or action?
  • What were my assumptions and judgements of the situation then?
  • What are my assumptions and judgments of the situation now?
  • What is the true situation? Not just my truth.
  • What can I learn from my past experience?
  • How much does my past experience affect my present day? (thinking about it and/or running away from it)
  • Why does it affect me?
  • What will it take for me to be happy now?
  • Can I forgive others in the situation?
  • Can I forgive myself?
  • Can I appreciate and be thankful for my experience?

There is a progression in healing old wounds. Be open to that progression. Be open to your feelings, your thoughts, and your emotions. Take time and make an effort to understand why they exist. Take responsibility for yourself and only yourself. Forgive yourself and forgive others. Appreciate your experiences then and now because you wouldn’t be who you are today without them.

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We Are All Doing Our Best

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Our full potential is 100%, right?

We do our very best to give 100% of 100% of ourselves.

Sometimes we are only able to give 80%, 75%, or even 50% of 100% of ourselves.

Whether we give 80% or 50%, we are still giving our best effort of 80% or 50%.

We all have emotions, beliefs, obstacles, burdens, struggles, conflicts, past pains, judgements, and shames that have the ability to limit our potential.

Let’s say you and I are in the same class together. We have a test one morning that is graded immediately. After 10 minutes you hand in your test and get back a 100% of 100%. After 30 minutes I hand in my test and get back 30% of 100%. Naturally, we can conclude that you’re smarter than me based off of the grade and the time it took to complete… but is that really true based off of one (or even several repeated) experience(s)?

What if I didn’t eat a good breakfast that morning and that affected my blood sugar, mental clarity, and ability to retain information?

What if I wasn’t able to fully study because I had to take care of my little brother who has been sick for quite some time?

What if I was dealing with an internal emotional battle because my parents were going through a divorce?

What if I don’t care about school and constantly fail tests, but that is a manifestation of a sexual shame that I experienced when I was younger to believe I am not good enough in present day?

What if I knew all of the answers but chose to fail because it was more fulfilling to be perfectly “stupid” rather than being perfectly “smart”?

I may have failed the test, but I was giving my best – it may not have been my 100% best, but it was my best effort given my situation(s).

Do not judge, assume, or blame others for their faults (we do that enough to ourselves) – have faith, trust, and encourage others for their abilities.

Do not give people the benefit of the doubt – give people the benefit, the respect, and the empathy that they deserve.

Be kind. For everyone you meet if fighting a hard battle. - Plato

How Do You See Yourself?

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When you are facing someone that you love – looking at them as if you were looking in a mirror – what do you see? Do you see their flaws or their judgements? Do you experience their past pains or their burdens? – or – Do you see the love that you posses for them and what they mean to you? Do you experience the unconditional acceptance of their life and trails, and the positive feeling that you get when you are around them?

Chances are, most people will experience the latter when looking at another person for whom they care. Yet, we tend to experience the former when looking at ourselves. Why can’t we look into the mirror and experience for ourselves that same unconditional love when we look at others? Why do our outside looks often determine our inside feelings (when really that manifestation is the opposite)? Why does it matter how skinny, fat, muscular, tall or short we are; how our hair, eyes, or skin look; or how smart or “stupid” we may come off?

It is important to notice what we wish to better, and at the same time we must understand that those betterments will come with awareness, subtle efforts, and in due time. Life is a progression. We cannot push, force, expect, or limit self to be anything else, but self.

More importantly, we must accept self for who we are, how we came to be, and who we wish to be. An unconditional acceptance of self requires the understanding that you are perfect. Look in a mirror and see yourself through the “eyes” of your heart – not your ego, not your past, and not your pain.

We put material or physical perfection on a pedestal. We yearn for it, yet when we think we have achieved it, we only want more. Perhaps we spend a lifetime trying to be perfect and can never quite get there because of expectations (personal boundaries). It’s also possible that we try to be the opposite of perfect, when in reality, we are trying to be perfectly opposite. That type of outward perfection will never satisfy us and will actually drive us further away from our true self. In order to achieve what we truly need in this life – not what we want or what society, family, friends tells us what we want – we must find self love by going within.

But, what if you don’t think that you’re perfect? What if you don’t know how to accept or love yourself? I can only provide you with this perspective…

Are you happier, healthier, more understanding, more accepting, and more open when you do or do not love yourself?

Start loving. Start living. Start being who you’ve always wanted to be. Start looking in the mirror and see the lion inside of you.

“It takes a lifetime to achieve greatness, but it only takes one day to quit.”

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Video Clip: The Cure is U – Love

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A clip from “The Cure is U” – Love (self love and its possibilities to heal)

Love is a feeling that doesn’t require another human at all. Love is a feeling that thee system – your biology – is taking whatever you’re looking at (your interpretation) and saying whatever that “thing” is, “that is so in harmony with me; that I will release the chemistry of harmony.” Love: What you’re feeling are the emotional chemicals that say, “what I am interpreting in this world around me is fully supportive and in harmony with the desires and wishes of my life.”

One of the most powerful tools – and not one that the mind would think of – is self love. Love is what is happening constantly. The question is to what degree am I allowing myself to participate in it. We’ve always associated feeling loved by being loved by something outside of ourselves, and when we do that we constantly set ourselves in a state of fear. “What happens if you stop loving me?” “What happens if I never find someone to love me?” “Well, no one ever did love me – parents didn’t love me, my family and siblings didn’t love me” – all kinds of absence of love has been existing. In the empowered state that you actually are – what do you think you were interested in when you came into this life and you landed in those kind of circumstance? You must have been interested in finding it in [the womb] and bringing it out in some way. When it wasn’t delivered or isn’t consistently delivered today, there’s a reason for that and when we begin embracing that perspective we being to access our empowerment.

If I am not extending love, I am projecting fear. It is as though we live in two parallel universes, and in a very real way you decide which universe you want to live in – the universe that is dominated by fear or the universe that is dominated by love. You choose the one dominated by love, your chances of physical healing are a whole lot increased.

So the more loving I can be with myself the more likely I am to access this heartspace, and it is in this heartspace that my intuitions, and my inspirations, and my gut feelings, and the wisdom that I have inherited from the ages come together. And in that heartspace is where we allow ourselves to access our unlimited power and our infinite possibility.

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