Tag Archives: idea

Wants vs Needs: Happiness

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What do you Want to be happy?

What do you Need to be happy?

Our Wants can only come from outside ourselves.

Our Needs can only come from within ourselves.

No one ever Needs a big house, an expensive car, chic clothing, etc. Sure, they’re nice to have, but are they truly fulfilling? Do you Need them to actually be happy or are they a result of a Want?

According to the 2009 HPI (Happy Planet Index), the United States was ranked 114 of 143 polled countries in terms of Subjective Life Satisfaction, Life Expectancy, and Ecological Footprint. Many countries that are smaller, less wealthy, and had less financial opportunities than the US had much higher rates of happiness! So where does that happiness stem from?

Happiness begins and ends with “i” – the i’s ability to fulfill i’s Needs.

Be happy with self. Be happy within self. Love self.

A happiness [and love] with and of others will develop naturally when self happiness exists. 

Consider this perspective for self and for others. We are all doing our best.

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We Are All Doing Our Best

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Our full potential is 100%, right?

We do our very best to give 100% of 100% of ourselves.

Sometimes we are only able to give 80%, 75%, or even 50% of 100% of ourselves.

Whether we give 80% or 50%, we are still giving our best effort of 80% or 50%.

We all have emotions, beliefs, obstacles, burdens, struggles, conflicts, past pains, judgements, and shames that have the ability to limit our potential.

Let’s say you and I are in the same class together. We have a test one morning that is graded immediately. After 10 minutes you hand in your test and get back a 100% of 100%. After 30 minutes I hand in my test and get back 30% of 100%. Naturally, we can conclude that you’re smarter than me based off of the grade and the time it took to complete… but is that really true based off of one (or even several repeated) experience(s)?

What if I didn’t eat a good breakfast that morning and that affected my blood sugar, mental clarity, and ability to retain information?

What if I wasn’t able to fully study because I had to take care of my little brother who has been sick for quite some time?

What if I was dealing with an internal emotional battle because my parents were going through a divorce?

What if I don’t care about school and constantly fail tests, but that is a manifestation of a sexual shame that I experienced when I was younger to believe I am not good enough in present day?

What if I knew all of the answers but chose to fail because it was more fulfilling to be perfectly “stupid” rather than being perfectly “smart”?

I may have failed the test, but I was giving my best – it may not have been my 100% best, but it was my best effort given my situation(s).

Do not judge, assume, or blame others for their faults (we do that enough to ourselves) – have faith, trust, and encourage others for their abilities.

Do not give people the benefit of the doubt – give people the benefit, the respect, and the empathy that they deserve.

Be kind. For everyone you meet if fighting a hard battle. - Plato

Mistakes

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To commit a mistake is not wrong – commit as many mistakes as possible because that is the way you will be learning more. But don’t commit the same mistakes again and again, because that makes you stupid. 

-Osho

While Osho is a bit blunt in his words, they hold some truth. But let’s throw out the word stupid. Let’s throw out the negative connotation of [continuous] mistakes. Are not we all on our own path? Are not we all learning at our own pace? Who’s to say that a continuous mistake is wrong when we learn the right in the end? In hindsight we can see where our path took a wrong turn, but can we argue that turn was necessary regardless of its time or the time it took to understand?

A perspective shift is in order for the word mistake and the action of making a mistake.

Why are mistakes considered wrong?
Why can’t we see within the moment that “wrongs” can actually turn into a future “right”?

Those very mistakes that we perceive to yield [temporary] failure can lead us to [eternal] success.

Everything that occurs is a culmination of perfection.
There are no wrongs. There are no mistakes.

With that mentality you don’t have to make a mistake ever again.
With that mentality you can only experience success.

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Bryon Katie’s 5 Questions of Inquiry

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Identify if your thoughts are worth your time and energy

  1. Is it true?
  2. Is it absolutely true?
  3. How do you feel when you think that thought?
  4. How do you feel when you don’t think that thought?
  5. Can you turn it around?

It is easy to get wrapped up in a thought.
It is easy to believe a thought to be the truth when it is only seen from one side of that truth.
We must allow ourselves to open up and see the big picture in every situation.
We must allow ourselves to open up and see the big picture in every thought.
We must understand the great power of thought and to not let it overpower us.
We must take control of our thoughts by taking perspective of them.

“By changing the mind, you can completely change the experience.”

Actively Seeking Answers

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To find answers we are looking for we must actively seek them out. Actively seeking is not meant in a literal sense to go out and find answers, rather it requires an activation of your mind and heart through inner and outer awareness…

Be present within every moment. The universe (higher awareness, God, etc.) is always giving us clues towards the answers that we seek. We will always find those answers within ourselves, but quite often those clues come from outside of ourselves (to be processed within). Being present within every moment allows you to actively seek the answers by activating your mind’s awareness.

Trust in yourself and the world will provide your desires. Trust that your efforts will be met accordingly. Trust in self is the most important foundation when placing trust outside of self. When a word is spoken or an action is taken, we cannot control how those intentions are received or how they vibrate amongst others – we can only trust that good will return good answers and bad will return bad answers (i.e. Karma). The world is always providing answers to our questions.

Those who do not actively seek their answers are often running away from the heart of the issue; distracting themselves with work, school, social events, technology, or reality-enhancing placebos. It is often hard to face the answers that we seek because sometimes we do not want to admit that they are true; however, their truth has been known for its whole existence – that we must take responsibility for our thoughts, our actions, and our reactions. This is an inner responsibility to be present, to understand, to be conscious, and to trust in self. Those who lack these platforms will be stuck in a never-ending cycle of looking for answers outside rather than within.

It is known that we can learn from our mistakes. We have the power to break that cycle of trial and error through a personal revelation to end one chapter and begin anew. Mistakes or regrets are not, by any means, a negative outcome - they are our present selves reflecting on our past selves with greater awareness, “If I had to do it over again, I would think, act, or react more appropriately.”

To truly learn from our trials we must reflect and not project. Reflection allows a person to look within and understand themselves, while projection turns the other cheek from self and blames others for their misunderstandings. We’re all guilty of it because the inner ego finds comfort in the known or conditioning, while trust in self yields no boundaries and is unconditionally open to all experiences.

Actively seek and the answers will flow throughout the course of your lifetime. Keep your eyes, ears, mind, and heart open to any possibility as you travel along your path.

 

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Foundation: Who, What, How

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Who am I?

What do I want?

How can I contribute?

Take 15 minutes each week to ask yourself these questions. Sit with each question for five minutes. Ask yourself each question in a relaxed state. Concentrate on your breathing and allow your mind/body to answer without any bias.

Having a set foundation will encourage you to have set goals and a desired path. The idea is to re-evaluate yourself each week because our world is constantly changing and our lives must change with it, but our foundations should remain strong and true.

You may find that your answers/definitions/perspectives change over time, and that’s perfectly fine. I believe we’re all on a path to find ourselves and this is a guiding perspective for just that.

 

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jdperryhealth@gmail.com