Tag Archives: need

Get healthy to lose weight or lose weight to get healthy?

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Last week I was going through my usual internet routine of watching new YouTube’s and reading new articles when I came across a recent Josh Rubin video about Nutrition Timing and Exercise. So I’m watching, I’m nodding, I’m agreeing, and he throws this line out there… “Do you get healthy to lose weight or do you lose weight to get healthy?” A small part of me inside of me died. I have been feeding into this concept for the past two years by slowly… gradually… baby-stepily understanding what this means through my own research, trials, errors, and hindsights… but I never had a short, one-liner that made it all this health-mush that I’m piling up by the day mold complacently together.

Not too long ago I was under the impression that in order to be healthy I had to lose weight; not the other way around. My perspective went something along the lines of… How the hell can I be healthy and have body fat? Doesn’t body fat correlate to being unhealthy? So, that’s simple… burn fat and get healthy… because if I look healthy then I will damn sure be healthy! Time to do calorie-burning squats after calorie-burning squats.

Ahhh, those were the days… and I have the massive thighs to prove it (thank you, genetics and my ego).

It may take a bit of time, personal experience, and understanding for the statement to truly sink in, but as the kids say these days… it’s #realtalk.

Get healthy to lose weight.

I love it.

What does this statement mean for you? For your lifestyle? For your nutrition? For your mental and emotional state or attitude? For your actions and reactions? For your beliefs, programed thought patterns, habits, and current personality? For your sleeping patterns? For your work and school schedule? For your internal and external stressors? For your perspective? For your goals and dreams? For your path?

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Comparing self to others

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Do we benefit or lose when we compare ourselves to others? Is it good to compare to get a better sense of self or does that act simply push us further away from self [and others]?

  • We compare what we are not… I’m not strong enough. I’m not smart enough. I’m not pretty enough. I’m not skinny enough. 
  • We compare what we don’t have… I don’t have a car. I don’t have an outlet. I don’t have a good job. I don’t have a significant other. I don’t have friends. I don’t have energy. 
  • We compare where we are not… I’m not as successful as my peers. I don’t have a place of my own. I am not where I predicted I’d be at this point in my life.
  • We compare our present to our past… Life was easier. I was healthier. I could run for miles. I could eat anything and not gain a pound. I was happier. Growing up sucks.

Any type of comparison is negative – it builds, defends, or hurts the Ego. You are not your Ego… the Ego is a part of you and it’s good to know when you are calling the shots and when your Ego takes charge. The Ego is a culmination of expectations, assumptions, judgements, predictions, and shameful events of the past. The Ego can protect us, but it can also blind us. Even those comparisons where we label ourselves above self and others – I am stronger, I am smarter, I am healthier, I am prettier – are all ego-boosting judgements and don’t really help anything in the long run. To think that you are better than someone else or better than your past self pushes you further away from a true reality – we are all equals and you are equal to your past self because it is a part of who you are, not who you aren’t.

  • Are you able to accept yourself the way that you are? If not, why?
  • Are you able to not judge, not assume, not expect, not predict, and not shame self or others? If not, why? Can you take note of when you do and why that occurs?
  • Are you able to be happy regardless of who, where, or what you are? If not, why?
  • How do you define happy? What makes you unhappy? What isn’t enough? What are you lacking? What are you comparing? Why are you comparing?

It’s good to take perspective on yourself and others. It’s good to know who, what, and where you are not, but that should not define who you are. We all grow, evolve, and mature at different rates, times, and ages. Don’t let your Ego prevent you or your perspective of others from being.

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Are bad times not-so-bad after all?

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Why are bad times bad? 

Why can’t we spin the bad times to actually be good – if not the best thing to happen to us?

We can learn a lot from the worst of the worst; the bad of the bad. Absolutely everything can prove to be a learning experience – an untapped perspective on life and on ourselves that we’ve never seen before. I understand that certain bad times aren’t ideal. For instance, I’ve recently dealt with the loss of a good friend and it’s certainly not an easy reality to grasp… but I have come to learn a great deal from the experience. I’ve learned a lot about a lot: how I experience myself, how I experience my loved ones, and how I experience life. Do I wish I came to this realization in a different manner? Of course, but the impact or gratitude may not have been as prominent.

I’m encouraging you to look at every bad experience as good, if not the best experiences of your life to date. Instead of asking “why did this happen to me?,” say “I experienced this through my personal definition of reality and I am going to take responsibility for my reality, my experience, my thoughts, my feelings, my actions, and my reactions, and I’m going to use that responsibility towards the betterment of myself. Nothing ever happens to me, only I decide how I let an experience affect or reflect upon me.”

We can’t always prevent bad times, but we can certainly view them in a different light so they’re not-so-bad after all.

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Neglect the past and neglect yourself

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Don’t live in the past.

Ok, that makes sense. To live in, dwell upon, regret, or rethink the past is not quite a proactive approach to life – it’s very limiting as it prevents a person from experiencing the now, the present moment.

But what about neglecting or forgetting the past? Can pretending the past does not exist prove to be equally as limiting? The past can be very shaming and to neglect that part of life is the same as neglecting a part of your self.

The past provides insight into who we are: How we came to be, how we got here, and why we got here. By “here,” I am referring to how you define your current self: personality, beliefs, emotions, thoughts, actions, and reactions.

Let’s say you experienced a shame (because we’ve all had our fair share) and your reaction was to shut that shame out of your life or out of your memory because it is too painful. The consequence of that neglect is that you’ve developed a part of your personality that does not take responsibility for self, a part that lives in a lie to only build more lies, and a part that can encourages walls or boundaries to be built that prevent others from experiencing a specific part of yourself [that was shamed]. Excuses or reasonings of “that’s how I am” ring true on the surface, but are they the entire truth of the past AND present? The truth reveals all.

This neglecting reaction prevents you from getting to know you, to understand why you react, or to piece together how you came to be. The longer the neglect goes on, the further detached a person becomes from their true selves. We are a culmination of all of our experiences – not just the ones we choose to recall (a reaction that we can say is a symptom to a greater cause).

Our past is a true guiding light into ourselves. Take the time to recall and revisit the past so you can get to know your present self better – this will allow you to actually move beyond the past because dwelling and neglecting are one in the same. For some, recalling is an easy experience. For others, it can prove to be much harder… but realize how much you can grow and discover by accessing a part of yourself that has been lost for days, weeks, months, or years.

Always choose self-responsibility over self-neglect (or placing the blame outside of self and onto others). It will open your eyes to a whole new world of you.

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National Silence Day

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Today, I declare as National Silence Day! Why today? Because why not? What is National Silence Day?

  • Take today to observe, take in, listen, understand, and reflect.
  • Avoid speaking, providing an opinion, passing judgments or assumptions, giving in your two-cents, or answering unless it is absolutely necessary.
  • Truly think before you speak, and then don’t speak at all.

Silence provides a greater learning environment to better understand self: Your experience of yourself around others and your experience of yourself through yourself. You will learn much about others through allowing them to be, to speak, to provide, to react, or to interpret without an outside influence, and you will also learn much more about yourself through the removal of you from you – you can take note of how you would react, interpret, provide, influence, or judge a situation or person.

“Those who know don’t speak,
Those who speak don’t know.” (Tzu Lao)

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I want to be perfect

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What is perfection?

Can we ever be perfect?

Why do some believe that they aren’t perfect?

Perfect is what you are right now.

Perfect is what you are experiencing right now.

Perfect is the culmination of everything that you are and were, that you experience and have experienced, that you think, feel, believe, do, don’t do, see, touch, smell, taste, hear, want, need, desire, shame, approve of, lust, love, or hate.

You pass a test? It is the perfect culmination of studying, attention, awareness, memory, dedication, drive, understanding, sleep, nutrition, and hydration.

You break your leg? It is the perfect culmination of force, stress, angle, timing, placement, environment, and weakness.

You think you are right? It is the perfect culmination of past experiences, beliefs, values, personal realities, perceptions, logic, communication, and understanding.

You end up being wrong? It is the perfect culmination past experiences, beliefs, values, personal realities, perceptions, logic, miscommunication, and misunderstanding.

Put yourself, what you have experienced, and what you continue to experience into perspective – understand what you define as perfect and why that definition exists.

Put the word perfect into perspective – it’s not a comparison to others, it’s a culmination of your being.

Instead of trying, wanting, wishing, or desiring to be perfect… just be.

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Question: Nothing I do is ever good enough

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I often feel like I’m not good at anything – nothing I do is ever good enough for anyone’s standards, including my own. How can I stop this negative thinking?

Perspective:

Well, this seems to mainly be a matter of your own approval. While others can influence or sway your judgement, you are making the decisions are the end of the day – not anyone else. I wouldn’t necessarily classify it as “negative thinking,” rather “influenced thinking.” Try not to think negatively of your decisions because it’ll only manifest into more negativity. By taking a positive perspective on your thoughts, beliefs, actions, and reactions it can help you define what is “real” and what can be changed for the better. Always learn from the negatives by shifting them into positives.

Here are a few questions that may open some doors…

  • Define: “good enough”
  • Why do others have an influence on your decisions?
  • Define which people have an influence on your decisions (usually this is a family member or a peer whom you look up to) and why you allow them to hold such an influence.
  • What’s more important: Making yourself happy or making others happy?
  • Are you more upset with others for influencing or with yourself for allowing an influence (the true reality)?
  • Do you lack confidence in your own decisions? If so, why?
  • Do you disapprove of yourself? If so, why?
  • Trace back in your past to when and why this started happening. This will help define the cause – the “influenced thinking” is a symptom.

Self-approval can only be achieved through valuing and confiding in self – not through neglecting self, not through pleasing others, and not through appeasing others.

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Don’t ever say that you can’t

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via

Can’t is temporary.

I’ve fallen victim to “can’t.” I’m sure we all have at some point. It’s hard to see the big picture when we limit ourselves to what was or what isn’t.

We must focus on what we can do as necessary steps towards what we truly desire. The man in the above video could not walk unassisted, he could not touch his feet, he could not fit into smaller clothes, he could not be happy with himself, he self-sabotaged with food and believed his limits were factual. His perspective shift didn’t happen over night, but he found a way to inspire and love himself through the inspiration and love of others. He focused on what he could do (or was capable of) in the present moment. He took small steps to better himself and to be happy with himself. He didn’t give himself a time limit. He didn’t place unrealistic expectations. I’m sure he experienced set backs and frustrations, but he focused on the big picture and not what he was temporarily experiencing.

Do not doubt yourself or others. Always give the benefit.

Believe and have faith in yourself. Believe and have faith in others.

We can truly do anything.

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The Secret to Life: How to Lose Weight, Gain Muscle, and Get Healthy Now!

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The Secret to Life! How to Lose Weight, Gain Muscle, and Get Healthy now!

Here it is! The answer everyone is looking for: How to Get Healthy and Stay Healthy in three easy steps!

Sound too good to be true? It’s not!

No hype.
No bull.
No marketing campaign.
No diet or detox miracle.
You don’t have to take any pills.
You don’t have to take any drugs.
You don’t have to starve yourself for weeks.
You don’t have to go from one diet craze to the next.
You don’t have to drink protein shake after protein shake.
You don’t have to weigh your food or weigh yourself every day.
You don’t have to run miles upon miles and do sit up after sit up.

Want to know how the heck you can get healthy starting right now?

L. F. B.

  • Love yourself.
  • Forgive yourself.
  • Be happy with yourself.

L. F. B.

Why do we become sick in the first place?
Why do we become sad?
Why do we eat too much?
Why do we not eat enough?
Why do we go from diet to diet?
Why do we go from exercise to exercise?
Why do we burn the wick at both ends?
Why do we believe that a fit body means a healthy body?
Why, now more than ever, is the United States becoming so unhealthy despite all of the diets, studies, and supplements available that apparently promote health?
Why, no matter what we do, can we not seem to get healthy?

  • Health comes when we take responsibility for our lives, our choices, and how we experience life.
  • Health comes when we are aware of why we may be unhealthy.
  • Health comes when we understand what it means to be healthy by questioning everything and listening to hour body.
  • Health comes when we have respect for ourselves, our body, and the food that we choose to become part of our body – our life.
  • Health comes when we balance our life’s wants and needs.
  • Health comes when we let down our ego and open up our heart.
  • Health comes when we provide a healthy external environment to reflect our internal environment.
  • Health comes when we do not place unrealistic expectations upon ourselves, others, or our experiences.
  • Health comes when we forgive our past so we can be present in the now and work towards hour future.
  • Health comes when we stop self-sabotaging.
  • Health comes when we are not ashamed of who we are on the outside because we accept ourselves on the inside.
  • Health comes when we accept who we are, and how we came to be.
  • Health comes when we do not compare ourselves to others.
  • Health comes when we understand that we are doing our very best in every moment and that no moment is ever wrong nor a mistake.
  • Health comes when you Love yourself.
  • Health comes when you Forgive yourself.
  • Health comes when you Be happy with yourself.

L. F. B.

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Wants vs Needs: Happiness

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What do you Want to be happy?

What do you Need to be happy?

Our Wants can only come from outside ourselves.

Our Needs can only come from within ourselves.

No one ever Needs a big house, an expensive car, chic clothing, etc. Sure, they’re nice to have, but are they truly fulfilling? Do you Need them to actually be happy or are they a result of a Want?

According to the 2009 HPI (Happy Planet Index), the United States was ranked 114 of 143 polled countries in terms of Subjective Life Satisfaction, Life Expectancy, and Ecological Footprint. Many countries that are smaller, less wealthy, and had less financial opportunities than the US had much higher rates of happiness! So where does that happiness stem from?

Happiness begins and ends with “i” – the i’s ability to fulfill i’s Needs.

Be happy with self. Be happy within self. Love self.

A happiness [and love] with and of others will develop naturally when self happiness exists. 

Consider this perspective for self and for others. We are all doing our best.

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