Tag Archives: sex

Stress: This shit is real

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Danny Roddy‘s most recent blog, Becoming Stressproof Part II: The symptoms of stress (Bad sex, worse digestion, and shitty depression), is awesome. I am in love with this post for two reasons: 1) I have experienced everything he discusses due to an elevated state of stress hormones that involved my internal environment (digestion, elimination) and my external environment (work, relationship, family) – from low sex drive to extremely poor digestion to yo-yo weight gain and weight loss to unexplained anxiety to bouts of depression to a low immune system to extreme fatigue – and 2) Stress is something not to be overlooked or written off as just a daily part of mental life that defines a person on “how they can handle it”… it’s very real on a hormonal level which can directly correlate to mental and emotional stress and uncontrollable personality shifts.

Around 60-80% of our hormones are produced within the intestinal tract, specifically the small intestine, which also houses the intestinal bacteria and is the main site for nutrient absorption. Consider this: if you have an gut imbalance (by “gut” I am referring to all of the digestion and elimination organs) and the body cannot properly digest, absorb, assimilate, or eliminate due to the imbalance… don’t you think it’s possible (keeping in mind that hormones are being produced/regulated/limited within the imbalanced environment) for that imbalance to translate into mental and emotional shifts, i.e. an imbalance in personality, mood, thoughts, ideas, stress-coping-ability and overall non-physical health?

I think personality “disorders” (depression, anxiety, anger, stressed, tension, impatience, nervousness, timidness, scared, suicidal, etc.), metabolic disorders (diabetes, insulin resistance, hypothyroidism, hyperthyroidism, etc.), digestive disorders (lactose intolerance, food allergy, food intolerance, etc.) are symptoms to a greater cause and, for the sake of this post, many are caused by a stress-hormone response that can very-well begin and end with an awareness of what up-regulates or down-regulates a stress hormone reaction.

Roddy highlights Bad Sex, Worse Digestion, and Shitty Depression as three [of the many] consequences of elevated stress hormones. The body’s sex drive will cease to exist in a state of stress (high estrogen, high serotonin, high adrenaline, high cortisol) mainly because procreation is absolutely last on the list when the body finds itself in survival mode (stress, lack of calories, lack of carbohydrates, digestive disturbances, over-exercise, etc.). If you’re running from a lion it’s almost unfathomable to get it up… now transpose that high-stress state the body experiences when running for its life into every day life and no sex for you. Worse Digestion can translate into a few things: loss of appetite (because who thinks of food when they’re stressed or sad), irregular hormone output (hinting on what I mentioned earlier), and a low immune system from stress to allow bacteria, fungi, pathogens, and parasites into the digestive tract, thus causing a whole new set of problems (yet still a symptom to a greater cause). And, last but not lease, Depression will surely result because of all of these imbalances – happiness is hard to come by if you’re constipated, dehydrated, malnourished, and cannot get aroused no matter how much your significant other dances naked around you.

The body is a system of systems. If you system is out-of-order, chances are the other systems will follow suit. Your digestion, your detoxification, your elimination, your muscles, your bones, your emotions, your intelligence, your personality, your happiness… are all systems. If you have a low sex drive, have poor digestion, and are depressed… take a look at your systems and the other symptoms that may be present within your body and mind to find its true cause.

Take some time to read Roddy’s blog (along with everything else on his website) to gain some more insight.

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Being provides advantage, nonbeing provides usefulness

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Tao Te Ching - Chapter 11

Thirty spokes share a hub;
In its nothingness
Rests the carriage’s usefullness.
One burns clay to make a pot;
In its nonbeing
Rests the clay pot’s usefullness.
One cuts out doors and windows;
In its nonbeing
Rests the room’s usefullness.
Therefore, being provides the advantage;
Nonbeing provides the usefullness.


I don’t know about you, but when I first read these words I had to read it a few more times and just sit back in awe of how simple-yet-profound of a perspective it provides. I think it’s flipping awesome.

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Why low-carb diets *cough* work

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Gluconeogenesis

Say it with me… Glu - Co - Neo - Genesis

Gluconeogenesis is the conversion of protein to sugar for energy. Not just dietary proteins… muscle is made of protein, too, ya know!

This conversion occurs as a stress reaction. When in a state of stress (dietary – low carb, exercise – too much, mental – #life, sleep – not enough/irregular, etc.) the body burns through sugar like there’s no tomorrow (because it wants to survive so there can be a tomorrow). This can cause the body to become hypoglycemic and, because all of the sugar supplies are depleted, other sources of energy must be tapped into. Adrenaline and Cortisol are two stress hormones that “kick-in” to run the body while reserves are being put into place. Those reserves are found through the conversion of proteins to sugars (Gluconeogenesis!). The body wants to run on sugar. It NEEDS to run on sugar because sugar is the body’s most useful and quickest-acting form of energy. Unfortunately, if there isn’t enough dietary protein then the body can turn to muscle for energy. The body will store (or spare) fat in a stressful state to stay alive – fat is a form of protection. The body should not run on fat – it’s very a rare occasion and it’s a very inefficient way for the body to convert energy (this process is known as Ketogenesis).

The body mainly stores dietary sugar in the liver and muscles. Once digested, converted, and stored, the sugars are known as Glycogen. Ideally, glycogen can be stored for about four to six weeks. When many low-carb diets begin they experience a quick rush of weight loss, of getting cut/lean, boosted energy levels, and are shaving inches off of their waist! Yes, this can all happen, but by no means is it healthy or long-lasting. Muscle weighs more than fat, remember? Sugar is the body’s primary form of energy, remember? The body will burn muscle and store/spare fat, remember? Once that four-to-six-week mark hits people can plateau, burn through muscle, put on weight, their brains can become foggy (because the brain uses sugar, too!), their libido/sex-drive can become extinct, and their muscles can become “cut” (but really they’re just being eaten alive).

For those who carve Low-Carb diets in stone, be aware that most dietary proteins are being converted into sugars and are not being used the way nature (or you) intends. Not to mention that Glucagon is constantly secreted to make up for the lack of dietary carbohydrates (the primary mechanism for protein to enter cells is by way of carbohydrate transport and Glucagon increases blood sugar levels by pulling from reserves). On the other hand, low-carb diets are a much better alternative to all of the commercial carbohydrate crap that’s available today in grocery stores and restaurants (bread, pasta, grains, etc.). Rather than attributing success to a healthy diet, first consider the massive amount of unhealthy foods that have been eliminated. Oh, and we can’t forget that intestinal bacteria thrives off of sugar and when there isn’t enough food for them to consume they search elsewhere (hence, chronic bacterial infections, sinus infections, thrush, intestinal inflammation, bloating, gas, irregular bowel movements, etc.)

Perspective? EAT MORE SUGAR a.k.a. good, clean, organic, nutrient-dense, natural carbohydrates – potatoes, fruit, OJ, milk, cane sugar, and even SODA. If you have blood-sugar handling issues and that’s the reason that you low-carb then consider the issues as a symptom to a greater cause – replacing an issue with a new issue just adds more problems, confusion, and sadness to “Why can’t I be normal?!.” Perspective to blood-sugar-issue people… EAT MORE SUGAR.

Yes, it’s possibly to live a healthy lifestyle sans carbohydrates, but how is “healthy” truly defined? More power to feeling good, being happy, sleeping well, having great bowel movements, having a high sex-drive, a full head of hair, and being resilient to stress, but how are those achieved by each individual? What are the habits, mechanisms, and double-checks that confirm “healthy”? Suggestion? Lab Tests such as Thyroid, Hormones, Mineral, Vitamins, and Stool can provide a great perspective.


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How to balance life’s priorities

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Life can get crazy. It happens when we have to balance work, school, family, relationships, social events, exercise, diet, hydration, sleep, me time, and the list goes on. The best approach to prioritizing is to make your priorities… a priority.

  • Below you will find a wheel with 15 spokes and 5 circles
  • Each end of a spoke represents your priorities in life
  • Each wheel represents the attention that you provide each priority on a daily basis (some may be weekly or monthly)
  • Write a priority above each spoke
  • Rate the priority by the attention it receives with a dot at the intersection point of a specific spoke and affiliated circle
  • Inner Circle = Least attention, Outer Circle = Most attention
  • Draw a line to connect each dot – does it make a [somewhat] rounded circle?
  • A wheel cannot turn fluidly unless all of its spokes are well-taken care of, straight, and balanced
  • This will help put your current life into perspective
  • This will help you become aware of what needs more attention than others

The above diagram is a generalized example. Notice how all of the spokes are not balanced and the wheel cannot turn fluidly? Now you try…

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Define: Addiction

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  • Addiction is a form of control, but what leads to that control?
  • Addiction is a symptom to an underlying cause, so we must define our true pain that we are suppressing or escaping.
  • On the outside, addiction involves reflective escapes – food, drugs, alcohol, sex, anger, depression, exercise, etc.
  • Deep down, addiction involves an escape from self – self-shame, self-sabotage, a lack of self-responsibility, a lack of self-awareness, and, ultimately, a lack of self-love.
  • We can overcome addiction when we become aware of what we are escaping and take responsibility for our actions.
  • We can overcome addiction when we see the value in what releasing that addiction can bring.
  • We can overcome addiction when we stop running away from ourselves, others, and our self-made problems, boundaries, expectations, boarders, shames, pains, or walls.
  • Addiction is an external attempt to find internal love.

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Question: Communication?

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I received this question tonight (Thursday, the 26th) and since it seems like a time-is-of-the-essence situation, I decided to push back my other queued posts and give this Friday’s spotlight…

What would you do if you had a very irresponsible, self-centered roommate? One that does not take his/her part in chores and cleaning. It is almost the end of the semester and we have not spoken for quite a long time now, mostly because of this behavior. Is it too late to say something? I know I should’ve said something earlier, but you know, life happens and now we’re getting ready to leave.

Perspective:

Irresponsibility or self-ceneteredness are merely symptoms of a bigger cause… and those are only your experiences of your roommate – not the definition of your roommate. It is unfair of you to label your roommate just based on your experience of him/her without knowing his/her true self or personal battles. Yes, it is also unfair to you if they are being selfish and do not contribute to the understood equal partnership of living together, but consider that he/she may have a very good personal reason as to why they only seem to care about themselves, why they are introverted, or why they have placed barriers between themselves and the world around them.

What’s the true issue here?

Communication… or a lack thereof.

Communication is an important part of any relationship.

Communication can provide a continuous exchange of ideas, thoughts, feelings, emotions, wants, and needs – that exchange is positive. You will not always agree with one another, but the experience of talking will encourage you to understand one another and move forward to better the relationship.

Silence can encourage barriers, [unrealistic] expectations, assumptions, judgements, and can bring a negative energy to a relationship (or even a room).

You are experiencing a misunderstanding and the best way to understand one another is to talk. I don’t necessarily mean to talk about it, but to just… talk.

The chores are a symptom of a bigger cause of not talking to one another or misunderstanding one another.

  • Lead by example.
  • Create small talk.
  • Show him/her your trust, your openness, your friendliness, your forgiveness, and your acceptance by merely taking an interest in their life, sharing experiences of your own life, and encouraging them to be a part of yours.
  • Be friendly, not over-bearing.
  • Be patient, not pushy.
  • Be open, not expecting.
  • Trust that what you give you will receive in return.
  • Walls will never exist in a relationship if no one has a reason to build them.

After some time, if your roommate does not want to communicate nor involve themselves in genuine, open conversation then I would suggest that you move on with your efforts. It may be hard, but it’ll be for the best. Everyone is traveling along on their own path and on their own time doing the best that they can, and sometimes we just have to leave people to be and do things their way. We can only hope that those who are lost amongst their inner battles will come around to find themselves one day.

All that you can ask of yourself is that you do your best and that you are genuine.

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Question: Cravings?

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Question:

“I love sweets. I love chocolate. I can eat so much chocolate in one sitting and I crave it basically every day. Could my body be lacking something and that’s why I crave sweets so much?”

Perspective:

I think the answer lies within the question…

crave

What are you lacking emotionally that had manifested itself into a craving for chocolate; specifically, a craving for self-satisfaction, for self-gratification, or for self-fulfillment? A craving is a physical action from a non-physical desire.

Cravings, no matter what they may be (chocolate, sex, money, drugs, power, etc.), result from a mental and emotional void that must be filled. There’s nothing wrong with a craving, but they can be dangerous when they result in self-descruction (physically and non-physically).

Try to understand your craving from an non-physical level: Why do you crave? What feelings do you get when you fulfill your craving (before, during, and after)? Does your craving make the void go away or enhance it? When did your craving occur? What events lead up to your craving? And the most important question(s): Are you happy with yourself, your life, your body, your mind, your reality?

Before anyone goes diagnosing themselves with physical ailments, I encourage you to address your non-physical self first – understand the cause of an issue, not its symptoms.

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